SWEEPER'S SANCTIMONY

we simply can't love everything we do

 

 

Briskly, one sweeps,

 

Pshhst Pshhst Pshhst

                                 

against a crude tide of resistance,               

 

                Pshhst Pshhst Pshhst

 

as the mind, shattered,

wonders,

exasperating further hindrance.

Averted eyes, roll at sight of

the party organisers’ deplorable,

tactless offences.

 

              Pshhst Pshhst Pshhst

 

This was some gathering,

         why are there still pieces of

 tinsel, and ribbon, attached with

cello-tape, hanging from the high

ceiling?  And why are 6 of the

spotlights, no longer working?

 

Pshhst  Pshhst  Pshhst  Pshhst

 

And did they not even have their

own bin liners? Common sense

must have perished, for who ever

stacked the chairs in front of the

fire exit.    Pshhst Pshhst

 

This must have been some gathering.

 

Pshhstshhst            Pshhstshhst

(fast...)

 

There could have been a year’s

supply of cigarette butts, amongst  the

squashed canapés, can rings, serviettes,

and some unidentifiable things,

compelling one to question

the nature of the night’s social

encounters.

 

Pshhst shhst              Pshhst shhst

 

Arrh, the rusty gate creaks,

while the back ceiling has

begun to leek.

 

 Pshhst shhst shhst shhst

(reaching into the corners)

 

Reaching for a silent detachment

from their presence.

 

pshhst.

 

Only the sunken sky offers

a distracting fondness ,

holding back the ebb of unreason

which is responsible for my

irrational moaning, up to

completion.

 

Even then, triumph recedes

with the unequivocal breeze.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews would be welcome

Reviews

[L.Edward]

Written with a keen eye for detail. Like a detective perousing the scene of a crime. Reminds me of when I worked as a kitchen hand at a cafe with an upstairs function room. I'd play that game over a short black coffee, once I had searched around between all the couch cushions for money and various "bonus" forensic items. Ahh memories!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you and I am pleased to have jolted some interesting memories from your past!

[L.Edward]

Pleasant bohemian memories are always welcome. The pure joy of experience in the moment with all its sweets and grits.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

"Pshhst shhst Pshhst shhst

There are things in life that we don't like but we have to accept.

Nice write-up :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Annotated commentary appreciated, Dhaye, my friend :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Life is full of mundane duties we must do to keep our lives in order, that is why when we get the chance to break away we must let loose and enjoy those carefree moments.

I love the structure of the poem.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hey, thanks for these thoughts and comment :)

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

the line that stood out to me and the one I held to is.... Reaching for a silent detachment from their presence. This one because I am reaching for a silent detachment from the craziness here on WC. Love your work.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks so much Neva!

[Peter H]

so i get from this poem , the after affects of a night swing , the deplorable state in which we ourselves leave these clubs and night bars . its fun to party but do we even k now the trouble some of our belligerent fun causes ?. so i'm deducing the theme of this poem is that fun comes with a price often unseen that impinges other's or is it superficial to the write itself ? . either way good poem and write i love the repetition of sound of cleaning with a broom.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks so much Peter, I really appreciate your interpretation skills.

[Peter H]

hmmmmmm , i wonder most times if i'm actually spot on with these interpretations i don't want to sound pretentious but often times i read these things atleast four times before i make my comment lol.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

So appreciated dear Peter

[Marie]

Keeping things clean is an endless--but absolutely necessary--task.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks for commenting :)

[Horizon K.]

Ones who clean up after us, the party, the maid at a hotel... These people get a glimpse into a different side, the messy afterwards side of how people live... Things they may never have wanted to see... A thoughtful, visual piece ... Really cool!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks so much for these, comments, Horizon K!

[Hotwater]

An amazing idea... cleaning up the party mess... in poetry! The sound of that brush a it does the business... the poets mind escaping as it hears the gate... notices the ceiling, stacked chairs.
Very good work here... top draw.

*bird*

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hey Hotwater, a blinding review from you, thank so very much for this I really appreciate how you have completely understood the gist of what I was trying to achieve and beyond, kind of you, best :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Again Sheema you have taken such a mundane subject as clearing up a hall after a function and used it to observe wider matters. It is well written and although I am not a great fan of onomatopoeia it works largely in this piece.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you John, for making my grumpy old fart poem, sound quite profound :)

[Sami Khalil]

"Only the sunken sky offers
a distracting fondness ,
holding back the ebb of unreason
which is responsible for my
irrational moaning, up to
completion

Even then, triumph recedes
with the unequivocal breeze."
Indeed we don't or shouldn't love just everything we do for that is nonsense and can't coincide with our mistakes. We have to hate trash and think it is unhealthy to go and collect it to discard it. And the list goes on and on. You have this uniqueness about your writes for you take the mundane things and make it a life lesson and benefit to all...Another great write...:)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you my friend, I like to shed light on the mundane and develop new angles at the present time, I have some short stories in my mind, again, you are my first, precious reviewer, I am grateful, as ever for your invaluable input :)

[Sami Khalil]

MY PLEASURE...Anytime...:)