Hate = Fate

Hate = Fate

A Poem by SabrinaThePoet

Word fly like bullets do,

Piercing the soul of the victim that the weapon is aimed to,

Death by verbal abuse,

And there is no use

For reconcilliation,

Because that would make the situation--



You've killed them,

Robbed and stealed from them, 

You took away their humanity,

And driven them to insanity,

Driven them to one day...


Walk right up to you,

Look right at you

With eyes dark as night,

And cold as the dead.

Then all of a sudden there is steele to your head.


With your heart racing and mind pacing,

You close your eyes to what you are facing,

Hiding from eyes filled with hate,

Hiding from what is about to be your fate.


© 2010 SabrinaThePoet

My Review

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There is a LOT wrong with this poem. I had a gut feeling when I saw the center format style. I can’t even really say the errors are Poetry-related; the kinds of mistakes we all make. No, the mistakes here are more basic…like spelling or simply confusing words (steele, stealed…), not to mention the final two lines of the initial stanza.

You might be able to save it with a considerable amount of polish. Probably a better idea would be to use it as raw material for the next poem. Believe me, I do it all the time. 



Posted 8 Years Ago

Word fly like bullets do,
Piercing the soul of the victim that the weapon is aimed to,

Love the opening lines here. Amazing job!

Posted 8 Years Ago

Unique expression of words, have to say, I love this!
As spoken word, a fleeting visit of drum and strings would sound cool lol
Great poem!

Posted 8 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on November 24, 2010
Last Updated on November 24, 2010



Athens, GA

My real name is Jamie, i am currently 20, and i love to read and write poetry. "Let your soul and tongue make love and give birth to expression" - Diego more..