SCAR

SCAR

A Poem by Prince Eric Leonard
"

A mark that remind us of the past.

"
A place so silent,
A house of emptiness
A land of total quietness and endless torment
So is the scar in the heart
Each day passes, yet the scars hurt more
Wished it was just a wound
Loved to feel the pain of the wound
Please take away the scars
It is unbearable
Tried to forget
But this mark haunts daily
Like day and night are inevitable
So is the pain of a scar
It is tearing the heart into pieces day by day
Tried to forget
Prayed to forget
Wished it never happened
Wished it was all a dream
Ohhh!!! Reality is dawn on me
Life is never blissful all along
All heart have a scar
Sar that can never disappear
Scar that remind us of the awful moment
Scar that make us relive the awful things over again
Scar that keep us striving for peace in our heart
Scar that drives us to be better
Scar that make us do the impossible!!!
Scar!!! Scar!!! Scar!!!
Wished it was all a dream!!
Wished it never happened !!
Wished I never had a scar!!

© 2019 Prince Eric Leonard


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The strongest part of your message is when you say you would rather have a wound than a scar. That's quite thought-provoking! I think about how tortured people cut themselves for relief, so that bleeding lessens the pain . . . contrasting this to scars, which stiffen the skin into a roiling upheaval of ugliness that never goes away. Where I experience a bump in reading your poem, there are too few lines as multi-layered as this one I just mentioned. In between, some of the lines are a little repetitious & yet not provoking any deep thinking about what makes scars what they are. In places it sounds like a howling dog, over & over, using similar words, similar descriptions, without enuf specific details to make your message POP! "remind us of awful moment . . . remind us of awful things" . . . these sentiments are not SPECIFIC enuf to be memorable or original. Paint me a picture so I can see what this looks like, how it feels, how does it taste? Show me a scar, describe it, make it so intense, that just seeing this scar in my mind's eye lets me know why scars are so dreadful. You scream at the scar, over & over, but I'm not seeing or feeling it, some of this time. I just see a blubbering man howling from some unspecified torture in his heart. I'm sorry if this sounds kinda harsh, but I do not like it when a writer uses repetition for emphasis instead of taking the time to think of new ways to state something deeper & deeper about the topic at hand. Repetition is a lazy man's way to emphasize how intensely the narrator feels, in my opinion. But you have passion. You need to look at that passion inside you & describe it, instead of howling about it. SHOW US, instead of telling us! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

We all have scars that make us who we are, this is deep and powerful. very nicely written

Posted 3 Months Ago


this is amazing, love the last part of it, this would be awesome spoken.

Posted 3 Months Ago


The strongest part of your message is when you say you would rather have a wound than a scar. That's quite thought-provoking! I think about how tortured people cut themselves for relief, so that bleeding lessens the pain . . . contrasting this to scars, which stiffen the skin into a roiling upheaval of ugliness that never goes away. Where I experience a bump in reading your poem, there are too few lines as multi-layered as this one I just mentioned. In between, some of the lines are a little repetitious & yet not provoking any deep thinking about what makes scars what they are. In places it sounds like a howling dog, over & over, using similar words, similar descriptions, without enuf specific details to make your message POP! "remind us of awful moment . . . remind us of awful things" . . . these sentiments are not SPECIFIC enuf to be memorable or original. Paint me a picture so I can see what this looks like, how it feels, how does it taste? Show me a scar, describe it, make it so intense, that just seeing this scar in my mind's eye lets me know why scars are so dreadful. You scream at the scar, over & over, but I'm not seeing or feeling it, some of this time. I just see a blubbering man howling from some unspecified torture in his heart. I'm sorry if this sounds kinda harsh, but I do not like it when a writer uses repetition for emphasis instead of taking the time to think of new ways to state something deeper & deeper about the topic at hand. Repetition is a lazy man's way to emphasize how intensely the narrator feels, in my opinion. But you have passion. You need to look at that passion inside you & describe it, instead of howling about it. SHOW US, instead of telling us! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emotional scars can last as long as physical ones. The damage they can do regarding shaping the person's worldview/mindset is far more devastating. The poem captures the pain of such scars very well.

Posted 5 Months Ago



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Added on May 17, 2019
Last Updated on May 17, 2019

Author

Prince Eric Leonard
Prince Eric Leonard

Kano, Kano, Nigeria



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