Isaac's Ballad

Written during Hurricane Isaac when I was literally in the dark without electricity for 3 days. Yay, cell phones and lovely inspiration late at night.

Imagination, take 1:

   The wind shakes the blinds and
        you hold me closer,
    breath pressing ‘gainst my ear
        in a calming rhythm--
   Our bodies pressed tight as 
        though our skin is melded
   and there’s no separation,
        no dividing line between us;
   our bodies now mirror our minds
        and hearts and souls, if
   those exist, and we exist
        in perfect harmony, effortlessly. 

Writing by candle light,
And you’re out of sight,
But on my mind all night--

Take 2:

The sound of sirens
echoes foreboding in the night;
the heavy heat, rain’s relief
    passed 
and I can’t sleep;
your face is on my mind (in the dark corners),
absent fingers walking down my
    spine
mischievous and stale air
and loneliness but vacancy
with time-temporary signs 
   (sigh)
Always tired, never awake;
so cramped and held in place.
Let the aftermath end,
so I can sleep (with you,
  one day, I pray)--
again. 

Reviews

[Jimi Brady]

I was so worried about you during that storm, not being able to talk to you, knowing that you had no electricity or water for days. I really love this poem, especially knowing how you wrote it and when. I love the "takes" and the parentheses, and how each verse is organized and stylized a little differently. I can feel the way you felt, cramped and tired and lonely, but with hopeful thoughts to comfort you. I know I was thinking of you, too, near constantly.

[Antonio Valentino]

breath pressing ‘gainst my ear
in a calming rhythm--

that was nice..

Our bodies pressed tight as
though our skin is melded
and there’s no separation,
no dividing line between us;
our bodies now mirror our minds
and hearts and souls, if
those exist, and we exist
in perfect harmony, effortlessly.

oh gosh dont tell my im going to favorite the whole poem now haha.. but this part right here was just really that good..

and I can’t sleep;
your face is on my mind (in the dark corners),
absent fingers walking down my
spine

aww.. this is so easy for me to picture, nice job with that..

wow, no electricity for 3 days, i can imagine how hard that must have been..

you did the horrors of hurricanes justice here especially how it pertained to a couple apart at such a bad time..

its times like this that can really put a relationship in perspective isnt it?

im glad it all worked out..

the winds whirled things apart, and your mind turned out, this art..

nature can be quite the inspiration cant she..

welllll done.. :)

[Amanda Granger]

Oh my god, thank you! I really love reading your reviews, Antonio. It was a nightmare, but I did get some great inspiration out of the deal! I'm glad I managed to capture the situation well; it was written very in-the-moment, and at different times. It definitely did put the importance of my relationship in perspective. Nature is probably one of the greatest sources of inspiration (along with love and somewhat s****y experiences hehe). Glad you enjoyed it! :)

[Antonio Valentino]

you are so very welcome Amanda.. i really enjoy your talent! :)

[creativequill]

This was fantastic I lived in a hurricane area for years growing up (Mississippi gulf coast) and my heart goes out to you because I know how it is the discomfort you go through not to mention the fact that the place you've always known as your sanctuary and safe haven are at that point a prison. Storms are rough and you can really feel the scene in this, nice write!! :)