The Sea Between Us

The raging sea will always run between us,

for your father found us in the woods tangled up together, as one.

Your shirt on the grass behind us,

my head on your chest, we were wet for we had just been swimming in the creek.

When we were swimming you had told me

“Girl if in six years your dad still tells me ‘get your hands off my daughter’ I’ll tell him she’s my girl now.”

Will you be the one who is my life, soul, and heart forever?

Will you take my hand in marriage for the day of resurrection soon draws near.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

There's mystery and romance combined in those few lines! That phrase starting, ' “Girl if in six years your dad still tells me.. .. ' is incredibly stirring: hints of defiance stirred into a passionate declaration.. Some would want your poem to continue.. but, stop there.. I love the tension you've built!!

[Jibey]

I loved the way the girl conjures up the wet delights of her experience and the way they promise to be united in a new life, brushing aside parental objections. A lovely story.

[Alexandra]

Thanks, I go off the rebellion of a friend of mine.

[Jibey]

Never miss an opportunity to create a good poem!

[Jibey]

The day of resurrection provides a powerful end to this poem, speaking to me of a new life to come... and of the energy of love that is reflected in the poem. I liked the vision of he two lovers 'as one' after their skinny? dip... I liked the erotic edge and the romantic delight, contrasted with the rough dominance of the possessive father.

A pleasing write

[BlackPrince]

This is a short and intimate snippet into a romantic reciprocal loving magical adventure.

Well done

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

wow thanks so much for entering this strong poem into my competition, i liked it a lot, good luck