Was Jesus Heterosexual?

I cannot wait for the blanket
To be pulled up over my face,
Those coins placed over my eyes
I will need the money.
I possess neither the virtue
Nor the energy to talk my way in.

 

Whoever heard of buying a place in Heaven?
Though I heard Islamic stocks are high.
Anyway I don't buy into religion,
I much prefer to believe my own hype,
Much the way Jesus did.
Maybe I am the Second Coming
Ha, that would just be too funny.
Jesus, The C**k Sucker, I wonder
Was Jesus heterosexual?

 

I'll turn your daughter to wine 
That's for sure,
And I hope God, or
Should that be my absent Father?
Doesn't mind that I customised my toga,
Less was never more.

So God,
If you're not the biggest fraud
Please stop telling people
The best things in life are free,
Because it doesn't take a genious to see
Everything and everyone has its' price.

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

i'm all for sacreligious writing and this was right up my alley. i love your cynical tone and your clever sharp lines.

i agree with "spoken"'s review... that stanza was amazing.

i think art should always be a little disturbing or offensive. it gets people to think.

still you were able to throw out the "c**k sucker" line without making the poem crass or ignoble which shows your talent.

i am a fan.

[Mr. D]

Do you enjoy the heat? You are well on your way to it. You are in no wise clever. You have no idea what you are saying nor whom you say it about. You do have a lot of anger and angst inside, though, do you not? You are not edgy, just ignorant. Best do something about that while you can. The ignorant people praising this s**t should too.

[[untitled]]

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[Nicole Hellene]

I don't like the poem but I love the theme. This had me loling for a few minutes. I tell Christians who proselytize about Jesus and God and sacrilegious bs that "Jesus was a Jew," and they hit the ceiling. You know what I think would make this poem more of a smack in the face...if you broke up the lines to three and four words:

I cannot wait
for the blanket
To be pulled
up over my face,
Those coins
placed over my eyes
I will need the money.
I possess
neither the virtue
Nor the energy
to talk
my way
in.

Just a suggestion.

[Nathan Noble]

this is very interesting and i love your style. ill definately be looking forward to reading more. great write.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Incredible write! I love your metaphors and how bravely you've written. Your talent is amazing. I'm not gonna start with some of the reviews I read on it, but I love your perspective and you raise great points. Again, very bravely written!

[Shelly Araujo]

Hi Sam, I will try and critque the poem without letting the intense feelings I have over some of the wording influence me. I can only do that if I pretend that there is no reference to Jesus' name, so with that in mind, I can understand the pain of your words when I look around the world and see that existence for many is all about power and money. I do believe that the best things in life are free: love in it's purest form, compassion, kindness, many others. I appreciate your intensity and respect your talent and ability even if your words are tough for me to read.

[Bud]

Wow! I dig it! There's a lot of unanswered questions concerning the bible. A LOT...missing pertaining to the truth, as the "gospels" put it. Great piece!

[Celtic Cat]

Even a born again pagan like me had to wince at the Jesus the C**k Sucker line! Yikes! lol
Well... I hope there isn't an entrance fee... we're still saving up for bankruptcy over here! : D
Excellent rant... now... .don't hold back........ tell us how you feel!!!! ; }

I'm no grammatical expert... but should Second Coming be changed to sloppy seconds? hmm.. just wondering!

[Spoken]

very interesting and thought provoking... I admire your strength to lay it out there.

Those coins placed over my eyes
I will need the money.
I possess neither the virtue
Nor the energy to talk my way in.

great lines.