The boy who took inspiration from death

Ryan Malik had a bad day at college. As predicted by his friends and expected by himself, he had failed his semester exams. His girlfriend had broken up with him 2 months ago and his parents were heading to court for a divorce. Life could have gotten no more worse. He was travelling back to his hostel by metro. He had been preparing for this day for a month now. The three letters he had written weighed heavy in his backpack. One was for his parents, one to his ex-girlfriend and one to the economics professor who was pissed with him. He had taken his time to write those letters. He wanted to make these people realize how difficult they had made it for him to live and the reason why he was going to take an extreme step.

Apart from him, only his best friend Neil knew about the mental trauma he was going through. They had been childhood friends and it had nearly broken his heart when he told Neil that he was going to commit suicide. He was surprised when Neil didn't try to convince him to give up his suicidal plan. Instead, he had requested him to write letters to the people who had made his life hell. Ryan was prepared for a silent departure from the world but writing these letter had somewhere given him a hope that when he would be gone, these people will regret their actions and live with a heavy heart for the sufferings they had bestowed on him.

Peace Villa was a private boys hostel. It accommodated students from different walks of life. Ryan had shifted from his house in North Delhi to the hostel to escape his parents agony with each other. His mother had located back to her maiden house in Lucknow and she had no intention of coming back to Delhi except for the divorce proceedings. His single room was on the 3rd floor of the hostel. He looked out the window of his room as he pulled his mobile and dialed Neil's number. Neil lifted on the 3rd ring.

"Neil"

"Ryan, where the hell were you in the college. You could have waited for me" he said angrily

Ryan smiled. Neil will not have to wait for him at the college tomorrow.

"It's over" he said slowly.

"What's over?" Neil asked, his voice calm and composed.

"It's going to be tonight" Ryan drawled slowly.

He could almost hear the click in Neil's head.

"Okay, I will be there" Neil replied.

"This is not a picnic dude or a boys day out"

"I know but I want to be there"

"You want to see me kill myself"

"Yes"

"Are you crazy!" Ryan almost barked.

"I can help you if you fail in your attempt. By the way, whats the plan?"

Ryan could not hold himself from shaking. His best friend was asking him his suicide plan and even wanted to help him out.

"I -don't -want -you- there" Ryan said, emphasizing each word.

" Think about it dude"  

"No, you are not coming"

"What about the letters you wrote"

"I am posting them this moment"

"No!" Neil almost shouted as if his life some what depended on the letters.

"Neil, I don't want to repeat myself again and again. I don't want you anywhere close to me tonight"

"Fine, but don't think i am going to play fair"

"What do you mean?"Ryan asked nervously as he caught the threat in Neil's voice.

"I am running to the cops if you don't allow me"

"Neil, have you lost your damned mind" 

"You are the one who is committing this damned act and you say i lost my mind!"

Ryan was seriously considering Neil now. He never barked empty threats. He could run to the cops if Ryan didn't act fast. 

"Don't you dare kill yourself before i arrive" Neil commanded.

"Okay" Ryan agreed. What was the harm in seeing Neil before he died. Neil might go up to media channels and speak positively for him, making his culprits regret even more of the hard time they gave him.

"So what's the plan-Sleeping pills, Poison, Railway Tracks" Neil asked casually as if he was discussing pizzas.

Ryan shuddered as a bead of sweat dropped from his forehead. He had thought of all these alternatives before. 

"I am jumping of my hostel building" Ryan said, trying to convince himself more than Neil.

"Nine floored huh?" Neil asked barely hiding the amusement in his voice.

"You think I wont be able to do it"

"No.....I thought of something more straight and dramatic. It will probably look like an accident"

Ryan wanted to throw the mobile phone out of the window. His best friend should have been stopping him or telling him that it was the best for him to commit suicide a midst the mental trauma. Instead, he was debating Ryan's suicide options.

"I don't care. All I want is to die in the first place"

"What's the time"

"12 am"

"I will be there"

Ryan was standing on the terrace. The three letters was neatly packed in three individual envelope. He stared at them. They were his thoughts, his emotions which he had never let to seep in front of anyone. Neil was standing next to him. Unlike Ryan, he stood calm and composed.

"You really wanna see me jump" Ryan asked, his voice quivering. 

"I guess so" Neil replied and went to the cement railing if the terrace to measure the depth.

"You wont even make it up to the hospital" Neil announced as he came back. 

Ryan nodded. Was not that what he wanted. Instant death. A chill ran through his spine as he took a step forward. He saw the faces pf the three four people who destroyed him in his mind. Their faces gave a rigidity to his frame. He took another step forward.Then another. Finally, he reached the railing. It was too dark to see the depth but he knew Neil's predictions were not going to be wrong.

He took a deep breath. 

"Wait!" Neil almost flew to his side.

"Give me those letters" Neil demanded, his hand stretched. Till then, Ryan had not realized that he was holding the envelopes in his hands.

"Wont it look authentic if they find them with my body" Ryan asked, the inquisition in his voice barely noticeable.

"No" Neil said in a strict voice.

Ryan handed him the letters without a second thought. Neil will make sure these letters reached their destination.

Neil examined the three letters and without asking tore one out of its envelope.

"Neil, what are you doing" Ryan jumped to grab the letters out of his mind only to have him hold them higher in air. For the first time in life, Ryan wished he was taller than Neil.

"This is for Monica" Neil said as he concentrated on the letter he tore open.

"Give them back to me" Ryan commanded fiercely.

"Ah-huh" Neil grinned as he narrowed his eyes in the moonlight to read the letter.