Simple things

Short poem on enjoying the simple things in life

The Trees,The Breeze
The pleasure of these












-

Reviews

[Aethereal]

This poem may stand alone as a meaningful expression. This is also a poem whose rhyme may be expanded because pleasure rhymes with leisure, measure, and treasure; and breeze rhymes with tease, please, frees, flees, keys, sees, bees, oversees, fantasies, fantasy's and so forth. You may also connect a natural wonder with a person in the form of a metaphor. As an example of a metaphor connection I've written this small poem for you which your may keep as a gift: Every poet tries to master the art of forming and connecting metaphors. It's also important to inject a cadence into a poem. Free verse should possess cadence too. Here I use /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter and /0/0/0/0 eight syllable meter where / is an accent, and 0 is a non-accent:

Tease

Flowers tease the honeybees.
Little girls smile saying please.

Both are more than just a treasure.
Each have charms beyond all measure.

[Samuel Jack]

Very interesting, with each review you educate me a little more. Many thanks.

[ANTO]

I like this - its easy to recall and it conveys more than the sum of its parts. It would make a good refuge in the mind to find inner peace when things get too hectic.
Good one

[Samuel Jack]

Cheers mate, just wanted a change from big prose monstrosities.

[one sky]

Nice couplet. Simplicity of things could bring us contentment.

Good job!

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you,nothing flashy, just simple feelings.

[Rita L. Sev]

I actually like this as it is - a minimalist piece, clearly expressing a simple joy. Makes me want to go out and embrace a tree. :)

[Samuel Jack]

Good idea Rita, I'm going to takedown the offer to change it, your review will be slightly off kilter now, sorry

[Rita L. Sev]

Quite alright - I'm a bit off kilter myself! :)