Oceans in my eyes...

Oceans in my eyes...

A Poem by Sanjh
"

A sad poem full of negative energy...

"

What I expected,
and what I've got.
Just some shattered dreams,
and a hell to rot...

 

Looking at the past,
the path I've walked.
The decisions that I made,
and hell yeah, am shocked...

 

I can't mend,
the damage I've done.
I took my chances,
And I could have won...

 

It's not that I didn't try,
It's not that I didn't cry.
The only fault was,
the happiness that I couldn't buy...

 

Now look at me,
What else've i got?
Just some mixed thoughts,
I'll take them to the grave and rot!


 

There's not much left,
No more place for lies.
Don't look at me people,
I'm holding oceans in my eyes...

© 2014 Sanjh


Author's Note

Sanjh
Kindly review it...

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Featured Review

I can feel so much disappointment and sadness in this piece, very well put together. I would say to this person in the poem to chin up, cheer up, the world is yours too take, never regret because you are still alive, and if you are alive you can still change your situation

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and the advice...:)



Reviews

"I'm holding oceans in my eyes" very powerful line. I love it (:

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it, thank you...:)
This poem is a regret over the desired task not to be performed in time. So the writer feels helpless and weeps for it. Though it is a simple piece written in smallest words.. I like the beauty of lines .
Keep it up..


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thanks for appreciating...:)
M.A.Rathore

9 Years Ago

Welcome my friend
This is very deep, I love poems like this, love the use of metaphors

Posted 9 Years Ago


Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you friend, I am glad you liked it...:)
Really great imagery and again, a nice, balanced meter.

NOTES: A few suggestions for the following lines:
What [else've I] got?
to take to the [grave…] to rot!
[I'm] holding oceans in my eyes...


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you for appreciating and the helpful corrections...:)
MomzillaNC

9 Years Ago

You're welcome. Hope it was helpful.
I love it its so deep and well thought out. You can feel the emotion in this poem. Excellent work just lovely

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thanks for appreciating...:)
Beautifully worded. Nicely penned. Thanks for sharing :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

I am glad you liked it...:)
well written.......but the rhyming seems uneven in the 2nd last verse.
quite expressive and negative as you said.
i liked it!
:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

yeah, still working on it, it's bugging me too (second last verse)...
thanks for the appreciat.. read more
Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thanks for helping with the verse...:)
Pushkar Prabhat

9 Years Ago

do not mention and you are welcome.......... :p :)
I can feel so much disappointment and sadness in this piece, very well put together. I would say to this person in the poem to chin up, cheer up, the world is yours too take, never regret because you are still alive, and if you are alive you can still change your situation

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and the advice...:)

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839 Views
28 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 4, 2014
Last Updated on November 5, 2014
Tags: Dark, disappointment, sad, life, pain

Author

Sanjh
Sanjh

New Delhi, India



About
So I'm back after a small gap of 5 months. I have more than 1200 RRs, sorry I won't be able to read them all, only the latest. Thank you for reading and reviewing my writings. :) I am a part time w.. more..

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