Flying Away...

Flying Away...

A Poem by Sanjh
"

Love's in the air...

"

The first time when I saw you,

my life was black and white...
When you smiled at me for the first time,
I knew everything's gonna be alright...

 

You came in like a breeze,

blowing my heart apart.
Like the first drop of the rain,

you gave my life a brand new start.
Your smile's my only hope,

the only thing I have in life.
Wish to be with you forever,
I wanna love you all my life...

 

My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...
Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd...
Your love is all over my mind,

and I'm in heaven on a cloud...

 

Your smile is my sunshine,

your hair is dark as night...

I'm falling for you every time,

and it seems to be so right...

 

Your love is everything,

that's keeping me alive...
I wanna feel you by my side,

wanna be with you all my life...
Every time I see you smile,

it makes my heart fly so high...
I'll die for you baby,
Would never ever let you cry...
Yeah, would never let you cry...

 
My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...

And I know I'm trying so hard,

you are my life's missing part,

I'm sure that someday you'll see,

and we will never be apart...

 


© 2014 Sanjh


Author's Note

Sanjh
Kindly provide your views..

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is a very sweet poem which highlights the initial emotions of new love. As Pushkar said in the review below, it is innocent. I would go so far as to say a little naive. The poem is reminiscent of a dozen red roses: beautiful and thoughtful but also a little predictable.

From a technical standpoint, watch out for tense confusion. The first stanza is a good example of going from past tense to present in a jarring manner:
"When you smiled at me for the first time, (past tense)
I knew everything's gonna be alright." (present tense)

"Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd..." this feels a little awkward. Too many rhyming words in these two lines. Consider revision.

"You are all over on my mind" This is also an awkward line. "all over" would not be used to describe how often you think of somone. Consider revision.

On the whole, it is a fun poem. I think what I'd like to see is a series as the relationship progresses. Because the truth is love is painful and it's a full time job. We're going to cry, be hurt, and hopefully forgive. The evolution of a first crush to the last fight would be something I'd like to see on paper.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and providing so many helpful inputs. I'll try my best to improve it and other.. read more
icomeanon_13

9 Years Ago

Keep writing! You're well on your way.



Reviews

Lovely..:) Very sweet and loving. I especially liked the fourth stanza..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much Ragini...:)
Wow! Such a sweet love poem:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much...:)
Cool Girl

9 Years Ago

You are so welcome!
Lovely love poem struck by loving words and emotions......;)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

thank you so much...:)
Wow.... this is one of my favorite poem from today.... :) Its wonderful... :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you Annabelle, I'm glad you liked it...:)
Simple and sweet love poem, I like its tone and essence :)
Thankyou for sharing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind words Hardeep...:)
Simple and sweet love poem, I like its tone and essence :)
Thankyou for sharing

Posted 9 Years Ago


If this is written for a special person, she would be so lucky to receive it. Quite beautiful sentiment. I really enjoyed it. Thank you S.............

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

you are right as always..:) It is for someone very special, but I won't be able to sing it for her.... read more
Confuser

9 Years Ago

Young love.......so sweet. thank you....
That's cute! And simple.. pure
It's same flow of thoughts many a time in romantic poems but this feels good. Got a happy vibe to it.
Liked it :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sindu

9 Years Ago

Haha.. did they now? :P Nah.. this is not sad at all.. Almost like his face hurts from smiling too m.. read more
Sanjh

9 Years Ago

hahahah, maybe they will understand it now...:)
Sindu

9 Years Ago

Haha I'm great at explainations ;)
Again you wrote a beautiful and emotional piece of writing. The way you describe "her" every feature is so sweet.
Shows the writers wanting for her. How much he's in love and his heart is already hers.
Loved this one too :) Keep up the good work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for appreciating...:)
your hair is dark as night... is a wrong statement
It should be your hair are dark as night.
I love the way you describe that girl in this poem. She seems so beautiful ^_^

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sanjh

9 Years Ago

Thank you Khyati...:)

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1160 Views
36 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 5, 2014
Last Updated on December 11, 2014
Tags: love, romance, lyrics, teen, song

Author

Sanjh
Sanjh

New Delhi, India



About
So I'm back after a small gap of 5 months. I have more than 1200 RRs, sorry I won't be able to read them all, only the latest. Thank you for reading and reviewing my writings. :) I am a part time w.. more..

Writing
I Love You I Love You

A Poem by Sanjh


My Love... My Love...

A Poem by Sanjh


A Deal A Deal

A Poem by Sanjh



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


My Love... My Love...

A Poem by Sanjh


Moonlight... Moonlight...

A Poem by Sanjh