I wish you were mine...

Trying another song...

Anywhere...
Everywhere...
I just see your face,
I feel you in this air...

I'm here...
And I'm in fear...
It hurts so much inside,
And I'm all tears...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


It's been so long...
I've been praying along...
Just waiting for you,
But I was so damn wrong...

I tried to be strong...
Wrote too many songs...
Thinking it might change your heart,
But I was so damn wrong...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


Now look at me...
I'm on my knees...
I'm crying your name,
Please hear my plea...

Sorrows, deeper than sea...
and you are the key...
Now kiss my lips,
And set me free...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all that's left is dying...

Author's Note

It's incomplete, not exactly how I framed it, so I'll be making many more changes in it. Your views will be very valuable...Thank you...:)

Reviews

[Moonlight]

This piece is indeed a very sad one. I liked how you were able to get through the strong emotions he feels on being heartbroken. The feeling of emptiness one feels when the one person he/she loves lies to him/her is something probably incomparable to any sorrow. The plea of the poet is beautifully pictured... something that is quite difficult when using repetition. This piece of yours effectively communicates the anguish and pain of the writer. I really loved it. :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Shivangi, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Ana B.]

This is a beautiful write.....expressing vulnerability and strentgth....it will work great as a song...

[Sanjh]

Thanks Ana, It is a song, just waiting for the music :)

[Daisy]

it's a beautiful poem.... dying means death of heart not the soul, the latter is not in our control..

[Sanjh]

Very true Daisy, thank you. :)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

Passionate on love and feelings is seen here. Wishing, hoping and believing. This is a love song. Well done.

[Sanjh]

Thanks brother. :)

[AK]

Great progress on this piece, I am sure it will turn out to be amazing! Your pain, heartbreak wrings my heart as well- you effectively expressed your thoughts in this poem (song?). The rhyming scheme is gripping and the poem an emotional, beautiful work of art.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Abbey Holt Voigt]

I can feel your desperation in your writing, very beautiful and powerful. Keep writing, my love. :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Abbey...:)

[Skai Rain]

This is such a strong and painful read. I think we all know this feeling. Thank you for sharing.

[Sanjh]

Thank you Brit...:)

[Ruth]

It is a painful process, for sure, you voiced it with heart and emotion...moved me xo

[Sanjh]

Thanks for appreciating Ruth...:)

[Natalie]

This was really great, and I loved the rhyming :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Natalie...:)

[Sindu]

More than just the pain, you deliver the anger and confusion he faces. But sometimes it's better to hurt a bit than be in a wrong place. Nice one Sanjh. I like how you pour in emotions.

note: and it's gooey :P

[Sanjh]

HAHAHA, thanks Sindu, yep it's gooey...:):p