I wish you were mine...

Trying another song...

Anywhere...
Everywhere...
I just see your face,
I feel you in this air...

I'm here...
And I'm in fear...
It hurts so much inside,
And I'm all tears...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


It's been so long...
I've been praying along...
Just waiting for you,
But I was so damn wrong...

I tried to be strong...
Wrote too many songs...
Thinking it might change your heart,
But I was so damn wrong...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all what left is dying...


Now look at me...
I'm on my knees...
I'm crying your name,
Please hear my plea...

Sorrows, deeper than sea...
and you are the key...
Now kiss my lips,
And set me free...

I wish you were mine,
With all my heart I've been trying,
I wish we could fly away,
But you always kept on lying...
I wish you were mine,
Now look, I'm crying,
I gave you my everything,
Now all that's left is dying...

Author's Note

It's incomplete, not exactly how I framed it, so I'll be making many more changes in it. Your views will be very valuable...Thank you...:)

Reviews

[Moonlight]

This piece is indeed a very sad one. I liked how you were able to get through the strong emotions he feels on being heartbroken. The feeling of emptiness one feels when the one person he/she loves lies to him/her is something probably incomparable to any sorrow. The plea of the poet is beautifully pictured... something that is quite difficult when using repetition. This piece of yours effectively communicates the anguish and pain of the writer. I really loved it. :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Shivangi, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Khyati]

:) all I can say is that You doooo love her... :) Love is in the air these days. :/ And maybe that's why I'm choking so hard, 'round this time :/ LMAO :* WELL DONEE

[Sanjh]

Thank you ma'am. And love's in the air!!!, a lots of my friends are getting married...

[Khyati]

LMAO! XP And your getting old :p

[Haley Wilson]

Sometimes rhymes can cage you in and limit your creativity, but I absolutely love how you managed to pull it off in such a heartbreaking and sorrowful piece. Nice work, dear!

[Sanjh]

Thank you for appreciating Haley...:)

[Maskedthoughts]

I truly loved this poem. I felt the raw emotion and it made me think of my own experiences. The structure was really great I liked your use of "...". I also liked your repetition and rhyming. Truly great poem with great flow and emotion! Great write!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Cool Girl]

This is beautiful! There is so much emotion here, and it makes the reader want to cry. I love this so much, it is too good for words.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome:)

[MomzillaNC]

It's a difficult thing to walk away. Sometimes, there is no other choice. Sometimes, you can only move on.

NOTES: Now all [that's] left is dying...

[Sanjh]

So true Momzilla, sometimes the only option is walk away. Thanks for the correction...:)

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Misha]

It`s a true saying never walk on the road with dead end or knocking repeatedly on the door which is closed forever....its hard, painful but eventually one has to stop degrading one soul and identity to overcome all..............very nice as always....you brilliantly capture all the essence of love, pain and suffering.

[Sanjh]

Thanks Prachi...:)

[blackfairy3]

Awesome!!!! I think that it doesn't need much changing good job!

[Sanjh]

Thank you for appreciating...:)

[blackfairy3]

Your welcome :)

[R Smith]

as you're going to make changes then i think you won't have much to do, i loved it as a song lyric and a poem, the ending is so soulful well done :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Richard, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Emily]

Love your wording!
Well done!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Emily...:)