1000 Me's for You

about trying to change to please someone... pretty self-explanatory :)

One Thousand Me’s  for You

 

How hard have I tried?

How many times?

To be something

           Someone

Whom you may desire

 

How many funerals

Have I attended?

With a sombre expression

To farewell

     Myself

 

Long I have laboured,

Devising new identities

Forever tangling

This lacework

     Of emotion

 

But it seems I’ve lost my soul

For no purpose,

All effort to no avail

Just trying to be something

           Someone

Whom you truly desire.

 

Author's Note

Not sure if it'a any good... You decide:)

Reviews

[Hamkar]

I love the title - A Thousand Me's for You, that could spin off into a lot of different aspects. My favourite stanza is number two:

"How many funerals
Have I attended?
With a sombre expression
To farewell
Myself"

I'm not exactly sure why I like this better than the rest, it just stood out to me.
But, above all, the bit I like the best is "...Forever tangling this lacework of emotion". I find this snippet says a lot about emotions and how fragile they are, how precious they are, how complicated and how difficult they are to manage.

The bits I have mentioned are really well done in my opinion, yet I think you could work on the rest of it, maybe try not to have it so stilted? I find the two question at the start a little bit unnatural, maybe if you could extend it into one question it will flow better. Anyway, I quite like it, good job!

[Sammy]

'Forever tangling
This lacework
Of emotion'- tragicly beautiful. Nice write!