Lemonade

a lemony perspective on nature

Condensing sunlight

Pours like lightning bolts,

Or lemonade,

Whichever you prefer.

 

The sound of falling rain

Mocks the march of soldiers

Or of secrets told in whispers

Left unheard.

 

Is nature only a reflection

Of our actions?

Following the lead of human violence,

Human silence,

Human drinks like lemonade?

 

You’d think the opposite,

But don’t be blind.

We’re winning in this race

Against the ecosystem

And blindly it pays tribute.

 

While we sip our lemonade

And watch the rain,

Or bathe in sunlight pouring down

Like lightning bolts,

We feel at home.

 

And this is because

Nature mocks the human race

And bears the weight of human wars

And fills the cups of human lords

With lemonade.

 

Author's Note

social issues, nature, this is a mixture of several things and a random blurb of lemony goodness. enjoy!

Reviews

[Kaye]

That was really very amusing. I love how you have all these incredibly heavy ideas mixed in with light whimsical ideas. Very deep and very conversational in the style you wrote it in. I especially like it at the beginning when it's like you're speaking directly to each individual reader.
I think I liked the first three stanzas best because they were both dark, and then light at the same time. It seemed to get heavier in the last three stanzas. You might consider adding in one huge burst of light humor at the end, moreso than you have currently with the reoccurance of the lemonade, just to add some more bitterness and sarcasm to the whole poem. A burst at the end can cause the reader to think over the main idea of the poem deeper.
Beautiful beautiful beautiful poem.

[Amanda Naomi]

i love how this is all brought together by lemonade! it's very powerful! i would tell you the lines i liked best, but they were all wonderful. each one a gift for me to read... i give you a big box kudos!

[Sarajane]

I absolutly love how you mixed all those subjects into one good ol' glass of lemonade!! Just perfect.

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

Wow, you took me for a ride, at first subtle and with shades of philosofic comparisons between nature and Humanity, you ask questions that are tied in nicely and sussinctly with your metaphor.
I like how you use something as light and without hevy pathos as lemonade, (who would suspect a nice glass of lemonade,) and mix in more sinister elements.
Tying the whole thing up in a lemonade colored package at once sweet and profound. -Thank you!

[Sandra K]

How cute!! I would have never thought about writing a lemonaid peom before. Its diffrent, but excellent!!

Great job!!!

Sandra K

[Legion]

Too cool. I love the way you weaved it all together. Bravo!

[Andromeda]

BLOODY BRILLIANT! lol. freakin in love w/ this. it makes me think of this story by Richard Matheson (the guy who wrote I Am Legend) called Witch War. read it, definitely.
aaaaah, i love this!

[Murphy]

These are some very interesting thoughts. I like how you wrap them all up into one "lemony perspective on nature". Keep up the good work, Sara.

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written poem. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

Hi, Sara,
I'm not altogether sure of just what you are trying to say...but I think the poetry is good...and I enjoyed your expressions. I really do think you've got it wrong way around though...if anybody or anything is doing the imitating...it is we aping nature. Aren't you putting the proverbial cart before the horse? After all, who pulled all this stuff first? It wasn't us! I like your metaphors though...nicely done. The philosophical speculation is a bit skewed though!
GA