Knife

Knife

A Poem by Sarah_Allen

You stare at the knife and wonder why,
Your life was pain, you hope to die,
Your amnesia starts to take over,
hate that stole your composure,

The stars above whisper your name,
when you hear that, you bow in shame,
for its a reminder of yet to come,
That hurtful feeling is far from done,
Betrayed by love to many times,
Your life to keep, and to hurt is mine,
Family don't know whats to hide,
Because if you do, your sure to die,

The stars keep calling your name,
Just a cut, to howl in pain,
Jar up your sorrows and feed the beast,
For he will, on your soul, he'll feast,

The galaxy's are so wonder and lost,
You'll soon realize suicides a cost,
Because the family's don't read your mind,
The pain killer, you'll have to find

One more thing to you my dad, 
My mother to you is only a fad,
Mom, my love for you has died while back,
and you grin as you sneer and start to attack,

Oh the stars whisper my name...
and i shall cut..... screaming in pain

© 2020 Sarah_Allen


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Author's Note

Sarah_Allen
To think that I wrote this at the tender age of 11... Makes me realize how innocence is so easily damaged and tainted by the world. I was a traumatized and fucked up preteen... Disturbed, really.

My Review

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Reviews

You did a fantastic job at 11 Sarah! This is really good.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Sarah_Allen

1 Week Ago

I see so much grammatically incorrect words and sentences but i dont want to change it. I want it to.. read more
Pestonjee_

1 Week Ago

Nah. Keep it as it is. It conveys the message in totality. Spelling is secondary.
Sarah_Allen

1 Week Ago

Thank you :)
This is very well crafted. It's deep, emotional and it connects with your audience - and assumably, the person you intended it for. My only discrepancy with this is that some of the grammar is off and sometimes there's clarification when it isn't needed, such as the phrase/line "For he will, on your soul, he'll feast." The line, if read out loud, is a mouthful. Perhaps changing it to "For he will, on your soul, feast" would attain the same goal but also smooth out the edges of the piece. I would recommend Grammarly, an application you can download for your browser. You wouldn't need to pay for it if you stick to the free trial, but it allows you to see what spelling mistakes might be in your work and it can offer suggestions for improved grammar.

But, the piece as is, is definitely well written. You've done a very great job and it's easy to tell you tried to create something very well crafted - and you did create something very well crafted. My suggestions are simply that - suggestions. I would never want to mar the reputation of your work simply because of my opinion. Very nice write and keep up the great work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


This is realy painful. Like blade razor under skin. I can feel all the pain go throught your words. Creation of you emotion is very powerful well done

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sarah_Allen

3 Years Ago

Thank YOU!!!!
submit this to my contest!!!!


Posted 3 Years Ago


Sarah_Allen

3 Years Ago

no.........

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4 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 6, 2016
Last Updated on January 30, 2020

Author

Sarah_Allen
Sarah_Allen

Κύριε, Κύριε, το αίμα σου Bρίσκεται στα χέρια μοu



About
I wish I could close my eyes and let the universe pull me into a place where my heart doesn't beat and my dreams lull me into a hypnotic trance. No company will ever fill the void in my head- "Tell.. more..

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