I Said Goodbye to the Sun

I said goodbye to the sun,  

To save her from the night,  

The kind that lurked within my mind,  

To stop me from blacking that light, 

  I watched the sun sink over the horizon,  

Let it leave me in the lonely sky,  

My fingers are freezing from the cold,  

And my heart feels only ice,   

It's just me and this empty space,   

I set the sun free to protect it, 

Better alone than bring her down,  

I had no choice but to neglect it,   

It's funny when you see the sunset,  

You really start feeling alone,  

Let the pitch black swallow you whole,  

Let the pain turn you to stone,   

Like Chaos, like Ouranos, like Atlas, like Hades,  

It hurts; but it's best for the sun to hate me,  

Like Nyx, like Thanatos, like Styx, like Ahklys,  

It's better to die than bring her down with me,   

  

Author's Note

Love, ha.

Reviews

[Ana Papaya]

You're a good writer.
The poem is rather sad though.
I have moments when I feel like this.
I watch funny videos to make me laugh. It helps me. Maybe it will help you too.

[LazerRays]

thank you so much for that review! :) ill go watch some vines now... :P

[Wesley Dingler]

And no, i don't sleep the night away.. cheer up my friend. upward is forward.

[Wesley Dingler]

Sara. I read this poem twice, but I am too sleepy now to write a decent review. I will, though. I'm one of those night writers, so I'm usually going down while everyone else is coming up. It went quickly into my Favorites though. When I'm fully at myself, i want to review it again when i wake up.



It's absolutely beautiful!
Please keep this up.



-wes

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much. I think this is a decent review if you ask me. I'm like those grandmas who prefer the homemade crafts for Christmas rather than an expensive gift. Saying "it's the thought that counts"
thank you again, night owl. :P

[Wesley Dingler]

Any time, night owl.
So what you're saying is you're sentimentalist? I see this being your strongest muscle as a writer, particularlly as a poet.
I've said it so many times, and still stand by it: IF IT'S NOT PERSONAL, THEN IT'S NOT POETRY. It's just pretty words.

[LazerRays]

i totally! i had this little rhyme "Write what you feel so that your poems may be real" lmao. i hate pretty words

[Zhavy]

Damn thats amazing, really loved the chaos lines, rhyme scheme is impeccable you really got your voice across with this one, definitely needs to read aloud, the emotions leak out the page. Great job.

[LazerRays]

thank you so much for your review :)

[angel]

Honey, if I were you, I'd move to Svalbard, Norway, the northernmost inhabited region of Europe,where there is no sunset from the middle of April to the third week in August. Or you can become Santa's only neighbor (I'm guessing) at the North Pole where the sun can be continuously visible for half the year. Ditto the South, but it is much less inhabited.Nothin' but penguins there,Miss.
Oh, but yer writin' was pretty good. Not saying it couldn't be better. It could be, but you do convey your feelings, which is, after all, the whole point of writing, so, mission accomplished!

[LazerRays]

Thank you for your review, angel :)
I'm sorta on santas naughtly list so I rather have some distance between us hahaha.
Of course everything can get better :P

[angel]

I strongly suggest getting off that naughty list as I hear that the jolly old soul has some extra good stuff to give out this year...and his little spies are EVERYWHERE.

[LazerRays]

Hahahaha! Of course! Lmao. Definitely! XD

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Exceptional writing... to me delves into what it is like to make sacrifices to help someone we love to the point we are beyond being fixed ourself. .

[LazerRays]

thank you for the review!

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

This may be my favourite poem by you so far. The flow from one part to the next is perfect, each line feeding into the next line. I've never been much of a reviewer, but this is excellent and you should be very proud!

[LazerRays]

thanl you so much. thats too much praise. my head might explode. BAM

[Arriam]

"Stargazing the galaxy filled sky,
From where I began my fall, "
"It's just been an hour past twilight,
And I'm already nostalgic for the sun,
But I'm afraid my reach will freeze her too,
So I remain here till I'm done."

This is absolutely stunning. Your need to speak the truth is still clear, yet you present it very nicely and create a beautiful image.

Arriam

[LazerRays]

thank you arriam for that nice review :) it means a lot

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Often, we don't really get to see the point of things as they are, but that doesn't mean there ain't any. Your title really sticks with me, somehow. I don't get the Greek references btw, except for Hades ;P but the flow in that stanza is cool.
Sad, heart wrenching write.

[LazerRays]

Greek gods (and titans) of chaos, sky, strength, underworld, night, death, hate and misery.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

:P thank you for the explanation.

[LazerRays]

lol. greek mythology is awesome

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, aye..one day ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime take little for us to seek final ending.
"In years they'll find me lying here,
They'll say I died due to hypothermia,
But the truth is I died of this ache,
Because I said goodbye to the sun,
that's the last hurt I could take.."
The above lines. Realistic place for many. Thank you Sarah for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[LazerRays]

thank you for your review!
That means so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome Sarah.