Misunderstood

In collaboration with SinisterPotatoe (Jack)

Look me in the eye again,

tell me you're not afraid,

of the monster inside of my head,

the kinds that makes me insane,

you say I'm overreacting,

so let me give you a taste,

of the violent tears of personality,

that juggles between love and distaste

Do you think this is a game that we play?

Everyone created equal; the same?

Did you think that I would fade away under the shades of yesterday?

Have you no rules,  no shame?

My world isn’t full of four-leaf clovers, it’s plastic

And no matter how you treat me there’s no continue button when I get game over

I'm sorry I can't control both of me,

Stop blaming me for violence,

First I'm light then I'm dark,

Once screaming and then back to silence,

I wouldn't agree on being the same,

I was never equal minded,

First I'm yin then I'm yang,

There's a term that I'm defined as,

You say that I’m fascinatingly captivated by my insanity,

you don’t look past and see humanity

As you dissect me on your tray, doctors orders, medicated, words recorded, 

now they're sending me away

I’ll keep my words to myself, my demons, my secrets at bay, 

and excrete them screaming until the pain wavers again

And hope that this evil beneath my mental treatment will fade away, 

So I can be quite sadistic,

But you never stop to understand,

The wars and battles raging in my head,

That strike blows on you by my plan,

I wish that I could lay down,

And sleep of dreams forever,

But instead my life remains unsolved,

By humanity who is so unclever,

Praying for a savior

In the light of mornings day,

In the hospital ward’s electric rays,

I feel like a failure,

I pray for a God to save me,

Every night cast by the moon,

In a prison cell of my mind,

I'm going to end it soon...

Author's Note

The italic parts are me and Jack wrote the Arial... Thanks btw, Jack! I guess this is about us clashing with our mental health differences...

Reviews

[MOON]

Descriptive and beautifully conveyed , the conflict , the pain , the instability and hope for peace and a calm mind.

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much!!!

[Onlyme]

Wow, this was a remarkable, exquisite poem and collaboration being you, Sarah and Jack. I could understand the inner struggles of being fulfilled and happy and content when inside you have the good and bad struggling to control your emotions and thoughts and needs. At the ending was perfect. Looking at a higher being to help you with your inner turmoil and struggles. To give you comfort, hope and love.

[LazerRays]

Thank you for that kind review dawn! That brightened my day! Yes, I liked the idea of ending it with looking torwards a higher being but Jack was the one who came up with that :) thanks again!

[Onlyme]

You two should do more collaborations. You work great together.

[LazerRays]

Thank you :3 it was fun to work together.

[Einstein Noodle]

wow...heart wrenching dialogue ... but honestly.... i read this more as expressed by one .. i believe mental illness is so misunderstood by most in society ... and clinicians ... well ... they are clinical .. i believe we are all in the same kinds of struggles as those with mental illness .. its just that those who are "labeled" ... think, hear and see things in much stronger doses ... anger, desperation, voices, hallucinations, manic, etc.... we all at one time or another are overcome by circumstances, emotion, confusion etc. .. and quite frankly .. i throw myself upon our Creator every day ... for comfort, guidance, acceptance, wisdom, understanding and strength ...you two have presented a very real snapshot of suffering and hope against hope ... the font is a little small for this old man and a bit dizzying ... but your story telling is complex, engaging and street real .. thanks for sharing!
E.

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much for that review, einstein! I do apologize for the font being small: and I'll try to adjust. I wanted to show as we were different, we were also the same

[Einstein Noodle]

oh...i do think you have accomplished that 100% ...tho in a dialogue style that you explain ... i could also here it going on in me own noodle .. talking to me-self ;)

[Kate]

Would love to do a piece with you guys! This piece is truly amazing.

[LazerRays]

Anytime you'd like! I'm glad you enjoyed! I'd be honored to collab with you

[Kate]

Of course! Just send a chat whenever your up to it!

[LazerRays]

Ok ;) I will

[Perdition]

LOVED the way you two used the fonts to show the personalities...who is who and what is what? This is brilliant Sarah and "jack" I need to read the other as your both in such wonderful harmony it seems as if this was written by one..and would not doubt it was although if it was in fact written by two then you must tell me the recipe and was this a sharing in one room or on the phone or just simply written through the waves cause I doubt many could straddle the means as well. Wonderful meltdown!

[LazerRays]

SinisterPotatoe (Jack) helped me write this :3 I wrote those slanted stanzas and he wrote those regular ones. We just went back and forth with the poem. I do agree, I think we did a good job. Jack definitely completes this. We just messaged each other and decided on a poem of us firing at each other. We wanted to show the differences in our thinking as we clashed. I'm glad you enjoyed! :D thanks for dropping by!

[Perdition]

Well clashed perfectly so congrats to the both of you. My pleasure Sarah!