I am nothing to you

I am nothing to you

A Poem by Sarah_Allen
"

Here's how you hurt me, AR.

"
If only you saw  
Through me- I'm nothing inside 
My head is so f*****g empty 
My voice echoes when I cry 
In my brain just
 Bouncing off the f*****g walls 
When I run around trying to 
Find myself  

They stole me
And told me it was my fault 
They said its better to rip my 
F*****g heart out-   
They held me down 
And ripped it from my chest- 
Now I'm nothing inside 
Just staring into space 
You could've put some life in me- 
After they took it 
But I'm nothing to you 

I'm so empty inside 
Oh, you could've saved me!  
Those years you loved me 
 I still loved you then, 
They just tore into me like vultures 
To fix me and carve it out of me 
And when I returned brain dead  
You were gone  
I f*****g screamed but you were gone 

You could never know the way 
 I lost myself when they hit me 
And said God hated me 
And taught me to hate myself- 
Abomination- I'll write it on my f*****g wrists
You don't f*****g know me 
I am nothing 

I don't feel things the same anymore- 
They programed it out of me 
Sometimes I try to remember 
What it was like to be alive 
But their wounds burn my flesh 

And when it wouldn't leave my head- 
All the war in my head got so loud 
I tried to make it all stop 
And where were you-? 
When I needed you-? 
Just another face in the crowd 
Thinking I'm okay because 
My body is like a robot and I seem fine
 On the outside 
But on the inside I'm nothing   
Their voices so loud 
And yelling in my ears
 I tried to make them shut up
 But their words are like fire
 Branded into my eyes  

When I tried to kill myself- 
Did you even f*****g care? 
All I ever wanted was for someone to tell me they cared 
To fill the emptiness with  
Warmth 
To heal the damage 
They left on me 
Well now I know, 
I am nothing to you- 

© 2019 Sarah_Allen


Author's Note

Sarah_Allen
I can't. No friend ever reached out after- you all ignored me; thinking I was okay- but I was fucked up! I'm still fucked up!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

There is true in title of your poem. We are each to other just shadows and strangers. Unless we broke the wall and try to use our compassion to find some close friends.

Your poem have pretty rage spirit. Almost feel like hard core song. Your soul just kicking out of your experiences . It's very powerful. It's like falling through the flames and water and there is no end in it. Each stanza bring new information and understanding why you feel so f*****g angry. And you are right. You have to be f*****g angry,.

At my personal experience to find some real friends. It's quiet hard job sometimes it take years of pain and self doubts. It's long way to go. Be full of courage and be strong for what you are. At this world occupied by humans is nothing too easy. But maybe one day it will all return to you in your best favor. All the best and never give up .

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Sarah_Allen

2 Weeks Ago

Ah thank you, this is a continuing tale of love mixed with hate, feelings of romance and bitter endi.. read more
Agony of St. Agnes

2 Weeks Ago

You very welcome. It was pleasure to read and explored own thoughts.
whomever or whatever cause this pain to
you..you can beat it..can't let them be fuk'n with you like that..you have to fight back..
take it from me..I have been there hon.
.sending hugs and love..and lots of good
cheer at this time....


Posted 2 Months Ago


Sarah_Allen

2 Months Ago

Ah. This is a complicated one.... Long story.. Long story... Thank you for reviewing... Hugs are goo.. read more
  Fran Marie

2 Months Ago

you 're welcome
I don't know the why, how's or when but I understand hurt and the afters - up close and personal. Catch a breath, come by and pause any time...

Posted 2 Months Ago


Sarah_Allen

2 Months Ago

Thank you Chris... Thank you so much...
I felt torment and pain in these words. Someone who is desperate to be loved and surrounded by warmth. Yet all I felt was emptiness, lack of self worth and a dreadful sense of being alone. Fighting a losing battle. If I could I would wrap my arms around you and embrace you. You surely need it. A powerful write.

Chris

Posted 2 Months Ago


Sarah_Allen

2 Months Ago

Oh god thank you.... A Hug would be nice....
Thank you so much-
Christine Anne Shaw

2 Months Ago

Sending you more than one Sarah ((((.)))) Take care.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

155 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 18, 2019
Last Updated on December 18, 2019
Tags: I am nothing, emptiness

Author

Sarah_Allen
Sarah_Allen

Κύριε, Κύριε, το αίμα σου Bρίσκεται στα χέρια μοu



About
I wish I could close my eyes and let the universe pull me into a place where my heart doesn't beat and my dreams lull me into a hypnotic trance. No company will ever fill the void in my head- "Tell.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..