Earthquake

That's it ... just a description.

The sun strode briskly towards its zenith as it always did in the fall, something of the warmth of summer emanating from it still. Farmers welcomed it from their fields with hasty glances at the lush verdure it drew from the obscurity of night to glowing, radiant life, women peered at it out of their houses and dairies, children sang joyously to it as they raced up and down the twisting, winding mountains to their shabby school-house.  

In the serene hamlet of Balakot, another day was drawing steadily on. A day like any other, eighth of an October akin to Octobers that had been and Octobers that stretched out before them in a vista of similarly placid years . Until " until the earth itself began to stir, to tremble beneath their feet like some gigantic monster goaded to wrath, began to fling them about and batter them, crush them under the rubble of their own beloved homes, maim and torture and engulf them altogether.

Author's Note

Inspired by the Oct 8 earthquake.

Reviews

[trainwreck]

Great description of the earthquake! This was amazing.

[Sarusai Hiryu]

Thank you!

[The dark story]

such a nice description of an earthquake.....really enthralling a piece of writing .i like it...you have wrote it so magnificently.......great work.......

[minato namikaze]

cmon if you want write about an earthquake for that the first thing you need to know is how to write.

[Sarusai Hiryu]

No. I just need to know how to type

[minato namikaze]

lol...agreed

[Ramsey's Rebellion]

This is a great little piece. I am impressed with your vocabulary. It is very advanced, and I had to look a few words up. you had a run on in the first paragraph-- a simple comma splice done twice in the same sentence. Just use a semi-colon instead of a comma to separate related independent clauses and you'll be fine.

Your command of language is strong and I think that it will serve you well. Good use of tone as well. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

[DiMar4u]

so much going on here, there are some intense descriptions. and, i rather enjoy the redundancy in there. thanks for sharing.

[FJ Davis]

Vividly-imaged and lyrical.
A powerful poem, Hibah Shabkhez!

[Sarah McConnaughey]

You did a great job of describing an earthquake. Well done.

[An owl on the moon]

What a vivid discord between the peace of the day and the wildness of what was awaiting them... You breathe a brilliance into this metaphor... So well done!

[MuSe Ampoule]

Nice work! I like the descriptions of the season and the quake. Eloquently stated.

[patricia]

You captured the suns movement well, I felt its residue warmth. I loved the way you described man, woman and children looking on. I pictured the twisting winding path and the description of the school. The second part captures the drama and the terribleness of the disaster well. This work could be expanded with more detail. Thankyou for this description of our fragile existence on this planet.