Drunk ..

2 am and I decided to message you and say that I am coming back .

Not to you .. but back home ..my home ..

For the first time my home wasn't  you ..

And the idea of that alone hurts ..

You answered : " I am so lucky "

Why ? I answered sarcastically ..

You asked me to call you ..

I wasn’t excited at that moment , nor I felt a thing since my heart hasn't heard your voice in so long .. as if it was nurtured by your voice , and when it stopped hearing it , it literally died ..and stopped functioning ..

I said a small "heey"

You were so excited to hear my voice and were like "heeey I miss you I miss you " !

I miss you too .. I answered  without enthusiasm or pain ..

The moment you kept saying how much you miss me and asking about me I knew you were drunk ..

You were like: "  I am a bit high "

I answered: oh , so that's why you miss me this much ?

Shut up ! Don't say that ! you answered ..

Look , I am a little drunk so you're lucky I can say a lot of things now since I don't when I am sober ..

Okay .. I said carelessly ..

I love you ! I love you so much  ! how can you doubt that ?! you said ..

I stayed quiet and didn't know what to say .. since your drunk what will you remember tomorrow after all ?

I love you so much ! you are my soul , my everything ! you live inside of me !

I wish I can spend every minute , every second with you ! every single day !

Wow .. you were never this open about your feelings with me before ..

 

Hmmm.. Okay I answered calmly and carelessly ..

When are you coming back ?! when is my baby coming back ?!

I won't tell you , I answered .. it’s a surprise ..

I was there laying down on my couch .. with your voice on the other side of the phone ..

And I was staring at the wall .. lost in words .. lost in feelings .. didn't know what to say or do ..

After a month of not hearing your voice , nor hearing from you .. you call me drunk and with all these emotions and feelings and you expect me to feel the same or be the same ?!

Don't love someone else ! You better not love anyone else !

That's the last thing you said before you hung up ..

I love you .. I love you .. I love you ..

Then you were gone ..

That night..that call .. turned my whole world upside down ..

Turned my heart , my mind , my body upside down ..

I was doing fine without you , moving on .. letting you go ..

And with one phone call .. you bring it all back ..

You bring everything back ..

In the back of my head ..

I wished you were always drunk ..

Cause that's the only time when you are so free and open about your emotions and feelings towards me ..

That's not fair though .. why can't you be like this when your sober?

Why can't you love me the way you did before ?! you were sober in that time !

I am lost in words..

I don't even know what to say or how to feel ..

Forget him , said my heart .. he will be like this all the time ..

Playing with your feelings and destroying me slowly ..

Let him go .. It was one phone call ..He was Drunk ..Forget it ..