March 15, 2012

       There's been yet another drift. I pray and hope.

       There was this one guy on here (Writerscafe) that I completely went from befriend to defriend because he talked such ironic ignorance (saying Christ believers needed to burn in hell). I don't know how to act/react. If I should hit play/replay/rewind/fastforward. I wanna hit pause, but here, there isn't a freaking pause button.

 

       My heart will ache and ache and I'll look at my mom with so much hope in the world, and I will say to myself,  maybe they will rehire my dad... Maybe things will get better. Maybe my softball playing, my heart, my parents, my best friend, my everything will have such a long existense and not be full of regrets towards the aliveness.

 

       I'm trying my damnedest to stay happy. And to be faithful and cheerful. But it's so hard whenever you feel like you don't even have a chance. I feel like I'm writing this up here just to have it on and be looked upon with laughter. "Silly teenage girl, doesn't know her left from her right (which I really don't.....) Maybe she should just stop trying." I'm close. I'm really... really close.