The Chimes

The Chimes

A Poem by Savannah Bly
"

Do you hear the chimes?

"
The Chimes
Do you hear the chimes
That mark your end in time
They sound in rhythm and rhyme 
As they take your worth in dollars and dimes
And you lie dying still with that last chime
Because they said the thoughts you keep are a crime 

© 2014 Savannah Bly


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Reviews

Miss reading gems like this from you

Posted 6 Years Ago


Small but extremely deep poetry, 2nd line was amazing...great write my friend!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Savannah Bly

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)
I'm chiming now with this sweet poem...Excellent...:)....................

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Savannah Bly

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much Sami!! :)
Sami Khalil

7 Years Ago

You are welcome:).....
Ominously sweet.
I like the alliteration.
I like that nearly all the lines rhyme, that was hard to do.
My favorite lines are the 2nd, 4th, and 5th.

Posted 7 Years Ago


,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

Posted 7 Years Ago


,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

Posted 7 Years Ago


,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

Posted 7 Years Ago


,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

Posted 7 Years Ago


,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

Posted 7 Years Ago


It's an interesting theme, and I like that you stuck to one end-rhyme (even if there is one repetition). The rhythm you have in the first 3 lines is good, it runs forward with a little "aggression" in the music of the poem, which fits the theme, but the last 3 lines lose any sense of rhythm. Also, two small wording notes: in line 3 "in" might be replaced with "like" or "out," although it is fine the way it is; in the very last line, the verb "is" does not agree with the plural noun "thoughts," so either the noun needs to be singular or the verb needs to be plural ("are" instead of "is").

Posted 7 Years Ago



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13 Reviews
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Added on May 26, 2014
Last Updated on July 14, 2014
Tags: chimes, time, death, dead, rhyme, chime, crime, sound, soundless, words, worth, value, thoughts, taking, dying, hear, noise, power, control

Author

Savannah Bly
Savannah Bly

Wichita, KS



About
Hi, my name is Savannah. I am originally from the West Coast but live in Kansas now. I love to write and I love to read; one of my current majors is Creative Writing. I have a blog I am restarting soo.. more..

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