Drowning

You glance down at the shimmering water as it laps at the shore.

The feel of it against your toes makes you crave it even more.

You toss a pebble in and begin to watch it sink

You toss another in and listen to it plink

The water looks so inviting, it makes you wanna jump in

The cool liquid against surrounding you, covering your skin

You wish you could stay here forever, in the water so very deep

In one quick and swift motion, you plunge in with a leap

Air soon becomes an issue and you forget how to breathe

Seaweed wraps around in and out it begins to weave

Trapped under the water, close to the bottom floor

As you look up, the sun shines through a window or a door

Shimmering off the surface, you're peaceful, you're calm

Looking up at the sky, raising your little palm

Giving into the silence as you sit there all alone

Sitting there playing with her tiny little stone

Water fills her lungs as she slowly begins to die

Laying in the dark, heaving one last sigh

Sitting there, lungs filling up making you wanna cry

This must be what it feels like to slowly wither and die

this must be what it is, she thinks as shes frowning

This is what it must be to finally be Drowning

 

 

Reviews

[Daniel88Batson]

I really liked it. Some tremendous use of imagery! You really feel for her.
But I struggled to find a flow because of the lack of the full stop.
Hope this construction helps =D

[Black]

a great flow,
a nice well put together poem!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Wow amazing and great flow and ryhming with depth too, love it!!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I love your sense of rhyme in the piece, perfect structure and balanced emotion, the most striking character is the imagery, alive and with meaning, well done, good read.