The Black Ocean

A poem about suicide, originally published under the user ilovescarystories On Deepunderground poetry. I did write this poem though and it is one of my most recent.

The black ocean
She swam with her head bobbing in and out of the waters.
With the icy waves that pulled her down.
She swam into the ocean.
She swam into the ocean.
She let the icy waves pull her down.
And let her hair fall back in the water.
The ice that forms on her throat.
The snow that formed crystals on her hair.
She sat back and let the waves pound.
She looked down into the ocean.
To see it's black sapphire silk.
Her tears rolled down creating bubbles.
Her hair rolled down.
Two blank eyes staring down.
She let the waves pile against her.
She let the icy waters pull her down.
She swam into the ocean.
She swam into the ocean.
Right beneath the waves.
So did he struggle when he pulled her out.
He held.
And so did his warm tears melt the ice off her cheek.
He pushed back the waters.
And did they calm down?
As the waters fell around.
She opened her eyes.
And the waves fell down.
His black wings spread across the sky
As he led her back to shore.
With her frozen hand.
Eyes milky white.
I'd say he saved her life.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

the ending was great... your set up to the poem was great and it was simply wonderful to read...there is pain in it and hopelessness but you made it eye catching by giving it a sweet ending as he saved her life.... full ratings....

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Thank you for the compliments on my writing.^^
Any reviews you would like?

[Inject Positivity]

its alright....visit on my poetry street when you find time dear frnd....

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Well I have time today so I will try tonight ^^

[Inject Positivity]

will feel humbled.... thank you frnd....

[barleygirl]

One of the best things I've read about suicide . . . & I've read dozens, since I've had a lifelong interest. Your ongoing analogies are well blended & united into a single powerful message. Not a jolt along the way! It's always good to have a glimmer of hope at the end of a bleak write. You've done this gently, realistically, without it feeling a bit like manufactured drama or the fanfare of false hope. Nice job!

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Aw thank you for your amazing review ! ^^

[sam]

That was truly amazing. You have a great gift and i can't wait to see what else you write

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Aw thank you ^-^ anything you would like a review of?

[sam]

your welcome :) anything that catches your attention is fine thank you

[Tsubaki Kuro]

Very beautiful poem here KnightOfAnarchy. truly beautiful. 100/100

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Thank you very much ^^ any poems of yours you would like a review for?

[Tsubaki Kuro]

Sadly I am no poet. :( I wish i was.

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Sure you are you just may not know it

[Tsubaki Kuro]

Hahaha. Thanks of the encouragement. I'm a story writer. But I love reading poetry.

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Well there ya go ^^ everybody's good at something

[Tsubaki Kuro]

Yeah. If you want to read one of those you can.

[KnightOfAnarchy]

I'm having problems viewing your profile because I'm 15
Can you link me your story? ^^

[Tsubaki Kuro]

Which story do you want to read, i'll change the rating.

[KnightOfAnarchy]

Which ever you like the most?

[Tsubaki Kuro]

ok I changed most of them to teen. Read: My inner hell teaser and Entering Hell