AFESS: Sarlaac Death March

AFESS: Sarlaac Death March

A Story by Scotty White

Action Figures Each Sold Separately is fan fiction based on scenarios from 80's toy commercials. Sarlaac Death March is a story of doubt.


           Please Click the link to the Toy Commercial before reading.  It's part of the fun!


            Sarlaac Death March

“I’m going to feed you to the Sarlaac Pit Skywalker!”

Luke Skywalker barely heard the alien as he was marched to his execution.   How could his plan go so wrong?  For a brief moment Luke considered; what if Master Yoda was right?  Maybe he should have left his friends in the city in the clouds.  Maybe if he had sacrificed Han and Leia there wouldn’t be all this misery and he wouldn’t know the burden of the truth.

The truth?  Was it the truth or was it a  lie brought forth by the dark side?  Could Darth Vader be his father? As Luke was marched through the Tatooine desert he feared he would never know the truth.  His thoughts continued to be clouded by doubt and despair.  Why didn’t he not know that the Hutt was immune to the mind trick?

The young Jedi didn’t heed his masters warning and his plan was a total failure.  His friend Captain Han Solo was still frozen in carbonite; forever to be a decoration in Jabba’s palace.  Leia, the princess from Alderaan was currently chained up to the Hutt and Luke feared what horrible things the gangster was doing to her.   Chewbacca was imprisoned in one of Jabba’s dungeons.  He had doomed his droids C-3P0 and the spunky R2-D2 to a life of slavery.

 His new friend Lando? The man who had caught him as he fell from the weather vane in Cloud City.  He hadn’t seen or heard from him in months.  Lando went on ahead to scout the location and bring back intelligence.  Luke feared he had ran off, or perhaps Jabba executed him.  

“Maybe Uncle Owen should have let me go to Tocshee Station for power converters.” he wondered aloud.

“No talking!” growled his Weequay escort as he hit him with a force pike.

The blow caused Luke to fall to his knees and he was quickly picked up by the two other guards, one of Jabba’s lieutenants a Nikto named Klaatu. The other he didn’t recognize he was fairly sure he was human but he couldn’t be sure because of his mask.  Perhaps he was  one of the many mercenaries or a bounty hunters in the Hutt’s employ.  On this journey he had heard the other two call the stranger ‘Tamtel.’

Once Luke was standing stable, Klaatu turned and punched the Weequay in the face.  “Jabba put me in charge, and I decide when you can hit the prisoner.”

The Weequay rubbed his nose and tried to soothe his pain. “But why does it matter? You said we were going to feed him to the Sarlaac.”

Klaatu grabbed the Weequay by his tunic and lifted him to his feet.  “Perhaps I should feed you to the Sarla--”

The sound of the blaster prevented Klaatu from finishing his thought.   The two aliens turned around to see Tamtel Skreeg with one hand on Luke’s shoulder the other with his blaster in the air.  “If you two don’t quit I’ll turn this execution party right around.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” Luke joked.

Tamtel hit him in the face with the blaster.  “What is it about ‘no talking?’ do you not understand?”

Klaatu let the Weequay go and kicked his force pike over to him.  “Pick that up.  We are almost to the mighty Saarlac.”

The march had lead them to a large pit; big enough to land the Falcon in easily Luke thought.  The bottom was covered in the finest sand Luke had ever seen and it reminded him of golden silk.  There were was a man-made well in the center, and the young Jedi could feel something living inside there.

“Prepare the plank Weequay.”  Klaatu ordered.

The Weequay grumbled as he walked to the old fashioned style wheel and crank system.  He turned the crank and slowly a dusty rock plank moved across the pit.   Luke watched below and he could hear the noises like the rumbling of an empty stomach echo from the well.    Klaatu and Tamtel pushed Luke forward and marched him to the plank.   

“Klaatu, I need help with the lock.” the Weequay called out.

“Hold him.” Klaatu ordered.

Tamtel watched Klaatu walk over to the Weequay and assist him.   He then reached over to Luke and used his key to release the jedi’s binder.  Luke was surprised.

“What are you doing?”

“You do want to get out of here?” Tamtel replied as he pushed Luke forward and fired his blaster.

“What is this!  We are betrayed!” Klaatu cried out as he dove for cover.

“Surprise, surprise I’m Lando in disguise.” Lando said as he removed his mask and tossed it off the plank.  

The aliens returned fire with their own hold out blasters and took chase down the plank.  The Weequay was spinning his force pike, anxious to have it bite into the flesh of an enemy.  Klaatu kept a few steps behind hoping that if he needed to have cover he could hide behind the Weequay first.  He hadn’t become one of Jabba’s trusted men by standing in the open to get shot.

“Lando!” Luke called out. “Get behind me!”

Lando fired a few more shots before running past the Jedi, Luke followed him but stopped as they reached the end of the plank.   Klaatu and Weequay were halfway across the plank, Klaatu was still hiding behind the Weequay firing his blaster.   The Weequay just growled and swung his force pike angrily.  

“Let’s get out of here Luke!”  

Luke didn’t answer he just focused on the plank.  He was reaching out with the force and recalling his lessons back on Dagobah.  He had to believe, size didn’t matter anything was possible through the Force.    He held out his hand and reflected a blaster bolt as it came for him.  Lando stood amazed he had only seen Lord Vader do that back in Cloud City and he thought it might had been because of the dark lord’s armor.  

The plank began to shake, knocking the aliens to their knees.  “The plank is falling!” Klaatu cried out.

They held on to the sides for dear life but were no match for the Force.  Luke focus was unwavering and his mind clear as he clinched his fist commanding the Force to do his bidding.  The plank broke beneath them and the pair plunged into the well and the belly of the Sarlaac.

“I have never seen anything like that.” Lando said as he holstered his weapon.   “And I’ve been around the galaxy a few times.”

Luke opened his eyes  “We got to go back to Jabba’s palace.”

“Back?  We can’t go back that place is crawling Jabba’s cronies.”

Luke looked to Lando, and waved his hand lightly.  “You will come to Jabba’s palace with me.”

“All right,  all right, you don’t have to get all spooky on me.”  

Luke smiled as they made their way to rescue their friends. “ At least Cloud City gamblers weren’t immune to the Force.” he thought.  “ This day may turn out yet.”


© 2014 Scotty White

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Added on February 1, 2014
Last Updated on February 1, 2014
Tags: AFESS, Star Wars, Fan Fiction


Scotty White
Scotty White

Dunbar, WV

I am a storyteller originally from Alabama who has been spending a few years in West Virginia before he makes his way to California. I have stories to tell and I hope you will enjoy them! more..