A Wrinkle in my Awesomeness.

A Wrinkle in my Awesomeness.

A Story by SeanWegmann

Not only will I allow you to read what I write. I'll take your small minded, idiotic, stupid ideas and might incorporate it into my own. Making you closer to being like me, and closer to being awesome


This week, I’m trying my hand at a little bit of historical fiction.  I’ve named the piece I’m working on John Dillinger vs. The Creature from Planet X.  Unfortunately, I’m getting bogged down with character and plot choices.  Decisiveness is not one of my virtues.

                For one, I don’t know whether or not to make John Dillinger a gun-slinging hermaphrodite or a gun-slinging android.  I considered, of course, making him a gun-slinging hermaphrodite android, but I didn’t want to blow my audience away with the novelty of my invention.  I mean, a gun-slinging hermaphrodite android… that’s simply unheard of.  That hasn’t even been done in anime (to the best of my knowledge) �" and those kooky Japs have done everything in anime!  I’m afraid that the amalgamation of those elements may annihilate my reader’s brains.  I’m still on the fence.

                And then there’s the issue of making The Creature from Planet X Dillinger’s real father.  I wanted The Creature to confess his paternity right before Dillinger wraps a string of live grenades around his slimy neck.  The way I originally saw it, it would be a surefire way to get the audience emotionally attached to The Creature and wanting to learn more about Dillinger’s heritage right before The Creature’s head blows up and spatters green sludge all over Dillinger’s mustache.  But, thinking twice about the whole situation, it just doesn’t make sense anymore.  Why would The Creature willing admit to being Dillinger’s father?  If Dillinger is a hermaphrodite, there’s no way The Creature would own up to being his dad.  The Creature would be totally grossed out, as anyone who becomes the parent of a duo-gend should be.  And, if Dillinger’s a robot?  Well, The Creature can’t be his father in that respect either.  Anybody with half a brain knows that androids are soulless orphans.  At best, The Creature could be his adoptive father, but that’s not really a heartfelt revelation.  Finding out that you’re adopted is just kind of pathetic, like chasing after a doughnut that rolls into traffic.

                So, you see my dilemma.  Maybe I should ditch historical fiction and stick to fantasy romantic thrillers.

© 2012 SeanWegmann

Author's Note

ignore any grammatical issues on just about everything you read unless otherwise noted. Once again, this is for laughs people. Don't be a dick.

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Added on September 5, 2012
Last Updated on September 5, 2012
Tags: time, travel, gangster, gangsta, android, science fiction, humor, comedy, action, latina, g-string, alamo, apple pie, american, territory, string theory, string cheese, beiber



Houston, TX

Human-ish. Nearly English-fluent. A*s-clown. Possibly a Middle Eastern terrorist. Probably not a child molester. All phrases commonly assigned to prolific author Sean Wegmann. But yo.. more..