"At the tombs"

"At the tombs"

A Poem by Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash

Autumn leaves are falling
My love for my papa
has turned withered
like the autumn leaves.

The sky is dull gray with a
hint of blue.
Memories from past is vibrant
but sometimes losses its hue,

And my desire to have someone
in accompany for my walking years
Is someone like you.

© 2013 Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash

Author's Note

Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash
What's your insights for this one?

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From a pure grammatical point, there are some errors that could be cleaned up. For example, make sure that there is agreement between everything. "Autumn leaves IS falling," should be "Autumn leaves ARE falling," making the verb "to be" plural so that it agree with the plural subject, "leaves." This is the main grammatical mistake, but, now for my interpretation.

I hear an emotional voice. The breaks in lines accent the narrator's reflection, and even the grammatical mistakes give the piece a child-like innocence. Just cut back on the number so they don't distract from attention. Good start!

Posted 8 Years Ago

M. A. Kilcorse

8 Years Ago

Not at all, no offense meant by it. I can just understand how incredibly difficult it can be to expr.. read more
M. A. Kilcorse

8 Years Ago

Frankly you shouldn't be so quick to judge someone. There was nothing whatsoever in my comment that .. read more
Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash

8 Years Ago

my apologies for my heated comments awhile back. truly, you criticism is admirable, i as a mere huma.. read more

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1 Review
Added on February 12, 2013
Last Updated on February 13, 2013