Blind To Beauty

Blind To Beauty

A Poem by SeemsPoetic
"

It was... As if… The world…. Ceased to amaze them The wisdom of the trees no longer could they hear

"

Blind To Beauty

   By: SeemsPoetic


It was


As if


The world…


Ceased to amaze them


The wisdom of the trees no longer could they hear


The wind would shatter through the leaves


But it no longer whispered in their ears


Like clouds in bright blue skies


As cold fronts draw near


The silver lining faded grey


Something they had always feared


Becoming blind to beauty


That day was finally here


Of every sunset they're ashamed


And every wasted tear


Another wasted day


Only they’re the one to blame




When they looked up at the night sky


The array of lights were their lost dreams


Neither near or far


Just out of grasp it seems


Like a wish on every shooting star


Endless unknown travels lay ahead


So  much life left to explore


But how can they go on


Feeling so sub par


They keep the sun in mind


But keep the moon at heart


Sunrise reminds of time


Still more emotions when it's dark


They feel the life they live is a lie


Can't wait till they depart


They say they’d rather die


Before they fall apart


Why can't they close their eyes


And dream of what they aren't


When they wake to that sunrise


It will still be just another day


But still a brand new start

© 2018 SeemsPoetic


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Featured Review

such sincerity comes thru in these lines and strikes an empathetic chord in your musings I have many times felt these things of myself and in my observations of those around me in the past....finding beauty I have strongly believed for quite some time is an active participation:)

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

such sincerity comes thru in these lines and strikes an empathetic chord in your musings I have many times felt these things of myself and in my observations of those around me in the past....finding beauty I have strongly believed for quite some time is an active participation:)

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

firstly loved t his poem, and my apologies for delay in judging my colours competition, thanks for entry into it, good luck loved it, !

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Congratulations!! Amazing work! Keep Writing!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Deep feelings in this write, so well written and so well expressed

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You are right my friend. We need to open our eyes and see the beauty around us. A wonderful poem. You made the reader think and ponder. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, so very good. I like this write

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's kinda sad.. I likes it though..

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It seems that a lot of this story remains in your head, when it should be giving the reader context.

Looking at the first three lines, where you're pausing for effect, there is a problem: Only you can hear the emotion in the words, so all the reader gets is a flat, emotionless voice speaking with hesitation for unknown purpose.

• Ceased to amaze them

Here's where you lost me. Who are the "them" you talk about, who are no longer amazed by some unknown aspect of the world? You know. The people you talk about know. But what about the ones you write this for? Shouldn't they know as-they-read? Without context the words have no meaning. And your intent for the words is lost when you release the words. It's what they seem to mean to a given reader, based on THEIR background and experience.

What can it mean to a reader when they read, "When they looked up at the night sky The array of lights were their lost dreams" The stars aren't my lost dreams, or anyone I know. So who are these people? If I knew that, as I read, perhaps the meaning would be clear, and the words would stir my emotions

In short: It's vital that we edit not from our chair, but from the viewpoint of the reader, who arrives knowing noting about the poem, and has only what the words say—and suggest—to any given point.

Sorry I don't have better news. But bear in mind, any critique is on this piece as it stands on this day, and is no reflection on you, your talent, or potential. So hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 2 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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We are all guilty at times of being blind to beauty; either through ignorance or by being in a state of melancholia. The sadness tends to be all encompassing and appears as a mental eclipse to blot out our sun. But sure as night follows day, the sadness does pass and in that moment our eyes are truly reopened again to all that surrounds us and all of its possibilities.

I enjoyed this write for its realism and ponderously written quality. And such a great title for a poem, too. Nicely written. Well Done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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474 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 31, 2018
Last Updated on May 20, 2018
Tags: Blind, Beauty, Sad, Start, End, Life, Dreams, World, Eyes, Sight, Stars, Sky, Night, Sleepless

Author

SeemsPoetic
SeemsPoetic

Green Bay, WI



About
Self taught artist. I write free verse and spoken word poetry. 20 years old. more..

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