Tales

Tales

A Poem by Serene Star




The stories we left
Unwritten
The places we knew
Forbidden
As once known
All things must go on
Those moments left
Counting
Of all that we learnt of
Resounded
The rhymes of our silence
The notes we could sing
Those books remain open
For another day
They often visit
All notations
Left open
Often forgiving
Those hands of time
Brushing by a cheek
Today
Life is not meek
After all
All that once was gone
Still reigns 

© 2020 Serene Star


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Reviews

Life’s experiences, you captured many thoughts within your words. Like snapshots as I read. Nicely done.

Posted 3 Days Ago


Serene Star

2 Days Ago

Thanks Renee
The rhymes of our silence
The notes we could sing
Those books remain open

I LOVE this part, This is so very well written and nicely expressed

Posted 5 Days Ago


Serene Star

4 Days Ago

Thanks Kay-T
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LJ
Nice work! The impact of words is heightened by the format, which makes each phrase sort of hammer on home. And I like that it's optimistic and hopeful. Life is so interesting, and you show a slice of it here. This one part is the only part I stumbled on:

"Those moments left
Counting
Of all that we learnt of"

That happened because of the two prepositions. Try leaving both "of"-s off this part and I think you'll see what I mean. I'm a little sensitive to preps because I always have to edit them out of my own work! Also - why use "...learnt..." instead of "...learned..."? Maybe you have a good reason.

My favorite part is located here, the line about time:

"They often visit
All notations
Left open
Often forgiving
Those hands of time
Brushing by a cheek
Today"

I like - "Brushing by a cheek" - it's a lovely metaphor, and conjures a wonderful image of both time and narrator. Good! I guess you're aware you used "...often..." twice in this part? On purpose? That may be. Glad to read this piece and hope to read more soon. Thanks for a wonderful poem.
PS. And the photo is lovely.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Serene Star

4 Days Ago

Cool
thanks for the review
yes, all things must go on. you speak of hope whatever life brings. very beautiful and full of deep sentiment.

The rhymes of our silence
The notes we could sing
Those books remain open
For another day

anything is possible. our tales are told and we are the authors. life is not meek - we can only fight the good fight and your words here are a winner ... :)


Posted 1 Week Ago


Serene Star

1 Week Ago

Thanks Pete
This is a lovely, spiritual sentiment, Serene, full of the optimism we need to help us keep going when life seems difficult. I particularly enjoyed the strength of expression in the last five lines. If all remains in spirit than we cannot actually lose. That is a wonderful thought.

Nice to read this uplifting message this morning. Also nice to meet you here at the cafe. Enjoyed your poem.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Serene Star

1 Week Ago

Thank you Eilis
Another beautiful poem love your style

Posted 1 Week Ago


Serene Star

1 Week Ago

Thank you julie

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Added on May 22, 2020
Last Updated on May 22, 2020


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