I'm the Girl...

This is my own story. This is who I am.

     I'm the girl you pass over when looking for someone. the one you ignore when talking to someone nearby. I'm the girl who was in the hospital for a month and no one noticed. The girl who's heart shatters every time someone's glance passes over my scars, the scoff, then walk off. I'm the girl who everyone thinks is beautiful, or pretty, but no one ever takes the time to talk to me. I'm the girl who stands up for my friends to my other friends, but no one ever does that in return. I'm the girl who seems perfect on the outside, but am dying on the inside.
     I'm the girl who smiles beautifully, and compliments everyone, because I think everyone is beautiful. I'm the girl no one compliments back. I'm the girl who's life is ruined, but you all think it's perfect. I'm the girl who was abused when I was younger, bullied at school and at home. I'm the girl who starves herself to be skinny. I'm the girl with lines running up and down both arms, my stomach, hips, legs, and ankles. I'm the girl who has even cut her face and neck.
     I'm the girl who smokes up as often as she can. I'm the girl who get's high to forget her pain, to forget her past. I'm the girl who drinks to drown the cries inside. The girl who wants to do drugs, hoping it will make me forget everything bad that has ever happened, and stop anticipating the bad that is to happen. I'm the girl who doesn't want bad attention, I just want people to notice me, call me sweet, nice, caring, gentle, loving. I'm the girl who wants to be loves, no matter who it's by. I'm the girl who doesn't care if I'm abused by my boyfriend, as long as he says he loves me. I'm the girl who has been raped a few times, and still wants to make love, not have sex.
     I'm the girl who is broken beyond repair. I'm the girl who will never be normal. I'm the girl who will continue to smoke anything that can kill me, do anything that will make me forget. I'm the girl who wants to forget her past, who wants to have amnesia just so I can start again. I'm the girl who wants friends who tell her how important she is to them. I'm the girl that that will never happen to.
     I'm just the girl who wants to die. Don't judge a book by it's cover, because you may find that the happy book you chose, was really a horror.

Reviews

[watch_the_world]

This is a very sad yet really good write. I think you are absolutely and astonishingly beautiful. And it hurts to see u hurt urself over ur past. Everyone has a bad past u have to learn from it and move on.

Feel free to talk to me at anytime u feel the need. Send me an inbox I'd be more than happy to help u. I don't judge and I don't tell anyone.

Stay strong, I love you. We all love you. :)

[Aatreyee Ghoshal]

Hi. I cannot tell you how much your story was a reflection of my own. It's beautiful, genuine, heartfelt, and I could relate to it so much.
I won't give you some bull about how it's all going to be okay because I'm pretty sure you already get that a lot. I just want you to know that you're not alone. Ever.
Thanks a lot for sharing your story. It made my week.
A personal, deep thank you for helping me realise that I'm not alone either, and I hope you realise that too.
Love,
Aatreyee.

[anonymusly_broken]

this is beautiful.
I really shouldn't tell people to stay strong when I can't stay strong myself...
But stay strong beautiful, I love you.
~Anonymus.

[*Evelen*]

Awww this is so sad. Killing yourself little by little won't help hun. Don't give up on life, never give in even when you can barely stand. Don't let bad things win and let them tear you down. Stand up and be strong. I'm here if you need anything.