NOT A SINGLE RAY OF LIGHT (Ghazal)

 

Not a single ray of light in this dark and dreary night,

Gently open your eyelids, everything will then turn bright.

 

Be the moon that’s in my sky, be the hope that’s in my eye,

Come and drive away my fears come my dear and hold me tight.

 

One day when the stars will shine, can I come to make you mine?

I will tiptoe in your dreams; and our future we’ll rewrite.

 

When the night is at its peak, and my sleep plays hide and seek,

That is when I need you most, you can come and set things right.

 

Did I hear you call my name? Or is life just playing a game?

Like I feel I see your face even when you’re not in sight.

 

There is still hope in my heart even though we’re far apart,

One day you and I will meet, one day we will both unite.

 

 Every time you make me weep, I wait for that final sleep,

Will the tears roll down your cheeks as I sink into the night?

Author's Note

A "GHAZAL" is a urdu. persian and hindi form of poetry. It consists of couplets that are complete in idea and theme apart from the whole poem.
The opening lines rhyme and the second line of each couplet rhymes with the opening lines.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! WOW! And WOW! I must confess, I haven't been too crazy about some of the ghazals I've read in the past, but this one blows my socks off! I love that the form is completely invisible & it's all about the message here. You're stating this with such longing & sincerity, I can feel the deep desire to connect with one's beloved. I love: "be the moon that's in my sky" . . . and "when the night is at its peak . . . that's when I need you most" . . . and so many more lovely loving sentiments. I'm not a big fan of love poetry (it's usually filled with clichés) but yours here is original & vivid & touching . . . it shows such a true heart, I can't help but love it! (((HUGS)))

[Shabeeh Haider]

You do remind me that you are no fan of love poetry but I am honored and humbled by your response to my poetry in general and this ghazal in particular.
My present focus is all on ghazals though I haven't really posted much on this site.
Coming back to love poetry, do read my poem "If Love Was All" when you have time and thank you for your review

[stargirl23]

You always write so beautifully!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Adi. These words mean a lot

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the complete poem. I liked the journey and the thoughts. I felt the missing and the yearning in the words.
"Every time you make me weep, I wait for that final sleep,
Will the tears roll down your cheeks as I sink into the night?"
Old places can steal our sleep and make us weep. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your kind review, Coyote and nice to meet you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Good to have met you and you are welcome.

[zunie frost]

Wow . I'm not really fond of gazal but i read it anyway . And i must say i like it a lot .
Great job . .. you are the best

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Zunie for these very special words.

[zunie frost]

Welcome my friend .

[Lydia Shutter]

An interesting form...the ghazal. I enjoyed this one. Filled with romantic longing. When you want to see someone so much that the tears fall from your eyes, you might think you actually see or hear them. The emotions are strong in this one. Beautifully written. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad you enjoyed it Lydi. Thank you for your kind words

[Ardra]

Beautiful Ghazal :) simple yet soul touching.....thanks for sharing this beautiful creation with us... loved these lines....

Did I hear you call my name? Or is life just playing a game?
Like I feel I see your face even when you’re not in sight.

There is still hope in my heart even though we’re far apart,
One day you and I will meet, one day we will both unite.....
:)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Ria, thank you for such a lovely review

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Lots of things for me to learn from this piece, sir. This has been penned superbly. I have come across various Ghazals which have internal rhyme in the first line of their couplets (not the Matla, of course), this one outdoes them all. This is one of the best ghazals I have ever read.
Each line has extreme intensity in the feelings and emotions it expresses. Poetry is based on feelings, and this poem of yours overflows with them. There is one very beautiful couplet by Mirza Ghalib, which I would like to share. It goes like this-
"Jala hai jism jahan dil bhi jal gaya hoga,
kuredte ho jo ab raakh justuju kya hai."

Anyway, coming back to your poem. You have done amazing work and your endeavour has yielded such a culmination which is full of pleasure and feelings for all of us- the readers. Had you recited this somewhere, people would've asked you to repeat ever couplet once more. This is marvellous, awesome. Keep writing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

thank you for such a wonderful review, Vatsal. this couplet of Ghalib is beautiful indeed

[jacob erin-cilberto]

simple yet simply amazing in romantic power...showing so much love, but then the serious nature of expressing how...if the love is not reciprocated then let me just die...because my heart will already be dead without you.

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Jacob, coming from you, these words are an honour.
I hope you liked this form of poetry called "ghazal"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it worked, (the form)...i tend to pay much more attention to content...and if the form eases me into that rather than taking away the attention....i am good...and i feel the poetry.

[Akshita]

It is a beautiful romantic poem. You are one of my favorite poets!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for such an honour, Akshita

[Anindita Janhabee]

wow sir, it's a heart touching poem, most likely with my writings, aim to unite...
very nicely written and perfect use of words with great interest and simplicity. Simplicity is the door to wonder, inspiring readers and making new step to humanity. When two people are bonded with true love, nothing matters, not even distance... Only time is powerful which may change relations but if it is a bond of trust and confidence, then time too fades...
When love is brightly coloured, everything else turns colourless....
I liked the whole poem...wonderful piece....
Anindita : )

[Shabeeh Haider]

Anindita, thank you for such a lovely review