A HUNTER IN THE DARK

 

At night when half the world’s asleep,

And those awake, in sins rejoice,

 My eyes can see the darkest line,

 My ears can hear the faintest noise. 

 

I sit perched high up on a tree,

I watch her moves and bide my time,

And when she thinks that all is safe,

 I swoop down and complete my crime. 

 

I strike when she is least aware,

 My talons pierce deep in her flesh.

And when I suck out her life’s breath,

I’m born anew, I feel so fresh. 

 

I rule the world when it is dark,

 I do not need the sun and light.

 The darkness makes my hunger rise,

 I need to taste her flesh tonight.

Reviews

[Leo]

I was looking for a twist of fate or good towards the end but didn't find it. other than that it was a great read.

[Swati Nayak]

wow what a scary scene you have created in the words of the killer.....thriller poem

[Shabeeh Haider]

Glad you found it thrilling, Swati. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

[Valentine]

Lovely write. for the rhyming, I might have used the word 'voice' to rhyme with rejoice. Valentine

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your kind words and I do like your suggestion regarding the rhyme.

[Ana Papaya]

Really enjoyed this dark and eerie little piece. I had thought of an owl or something at first but it leaves me with a feeling it might be something more sinister. I like it. :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

I happy that you like it Papaya. Yes, it was meant to be something more sinister.
I am glad you understood that.

[aLittlePain]

That was a surprise :) a dark turn from your norm. I enjoyed it very much. Eerie and Beautifully dark imagery. R xo

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank You. I am glad that you enjoyed it.

[Lorry]

This very much has the feel of something that made me pick up my pen and write for the first time, over twenty years ago. The voice of Vincent Price plays in my head as I read this, not unlike the spoken and haunting part of Michael Jackson's Thrller. I was always a fan of Price and his era of Hammer house of horror, where he could make the victim of his words, chill like ice at the delight and ecstasy of his words and voice. This was heard in a voice such as that to me, which leaves the reader with chills. Superb my friend.

[Shabeeh Haider]

This is very high praise from you. Thank you for liking my humble effort.

[Lorry]

You're very welcome Shabeeh.

[emmajoy]

Wasn't expecting this !

Has amazing power and colour. Scary. A nightmare of pitch black daring a blink of light to appear. Your meter is more than fine,; there's a rush of phrases - think intentional to give the attack a distinct pace. Not sure whether a creature or a demon .. has all the instincts of either or both.

Think there should be a Warning sign: Please wear a garland of garlic or carry a crucifix'!!! :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for such a kind review. Your last line made me smile.

[barleygirl]

This is very well written with great rhythm & rhyme! Sorry I haven't been reviewing as much lately, so I can't remember if I've seen something like this from you before. It seems different than what I'm used to seeing from you, & definitely nicely crafted with a sequence of events that the reader can well visualize. I like the way this message could apply to an animal in the forest or a human predator or even vampires. There's a nice deliberate intent in the way the narrator describes his/her own predation . . . like he/she is very satisfied with his/her game. Definitely one of your best that I've read so far.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nice to read your review. You are correct, it is different from my usual style of writing.
I am glad you enjoyed reading it

[Jacob Clifford]

Eerie, dark. I like the point of narration and visuals.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Clifford for your words

[James]

A little dark for you...I like it. Dark and sensual.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you James. Glad you liked this effort.