Jessica and Thedric

A short story about a very small, but romantic moment in time.

Jessica stood in silence as if waiting for a verdict by trial.  Thedric stood speechless before her.  As he looked into her eyes, watching desperately for the usual tell of deceit that he had come to know in others, a revelation dawned upon him.  Jessica was beautiful, however, she was something different.  She was rare in that her attractive qualities hadn't ever been expressed to her by anyone whose opinion she respected.  Of course her family would say she was beautiful, that's what all parents would say to their child.  Her friends would say she was beautiful, but they also wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.  She was beautiful in a way that made young men frightened.  She was beautiful in a way which made her seem unattainable to any suitor who would want her, and there were many.  Thedric realized that Jessica wasn't trying to insinuate herself in a threatening way nor trying to boast through compliment fishing.  She saw something in Thedric and she was desperate to find justification.  Thedric was not one known for his lies; rather he was known for being the barer of truth, even if that truth was hurtful and brutal. 

               Aware of this, Thedric realized that Jessica wasn't just asking his opinion.  Jessica wanted validation, she wanted purpose in her appearance and character; Jessica wanted him.  She simply hadn't been given the confidence through her life to feel worthy of what she felt.  Thedric was also known for being an excellent barer of words.  He could fashion them into the greatest explanations, wield them with deadly and critical prowess, he could make people melt into the various emotions he often felt, even when a person hadn't the experiences to identify with his stories.  Jessica, however, was an altogether different being.  Thedric could give her words that would melt her very marrow, but she wanting something that she had never experienced before.  Thedric wasn't about to cheapen this moment with words that would totally underestimate this instance regardless of how well he wielded them.

               She stood there and the silence became threatening, uncomfortable, even damning.  What little confidence she had built in the months she had been his friend was now beginning to dwindle.  Her eyes began to flash as the first hint of tears began silently to swell.  Lowering her head very slowly, trying not to take her eyes off his, but feeling more defeated each second; Thedric chose his next few moments with confident confusion.  He didn't really know if this was what Jessica wanted.  He didn't know if Jessica could really understand what would happen in the next few moments.  He only knew that he felt before what Jessica was now feeling.  He knew what he felt, had been feeling, had felt since their first acquaintance.  He brought his hand to her face, letting his palm run gently across her cheek.  Reaching upward to catch some loose hair, he slowly brushed the strands behind her ear; Jessica's face pressing against his hand.

               Shocked but calm, Jessica looked back up -into Thedric's  grey blue eyes.  His face approached her and as his lips made the lightest of contact with hers; his eyes closed.  Jessica's eyes closed in reaction and a tear squeezed out and ran down her right cheek, stopping for a brief moment as it collided with his hand.  Thedric pressed his lips slightly harder, desperate not to lose the moment.  Then, as reality filled into him, Thedric pulled away slowly.  Jessica opened her eyes and smiled, a little sheepishly.  Thedric came back to her face, turning his head slightly to the left so to speak into her left ear.  Jessica turned her head slightly, pressing her face further into his hand.  She prepared herself, a warm shiver running up her back as she waited impatiently for what he would whisper.  He leaned in close, ready to tell her the most profound truth he had to give at the moment.  His words entered into her ear, the only sound she could now define hearing, "Jessica, I shall forever hold you as the most loved in my heart, but we both know that I have never been good enough for you.  I can do nothing worthy of you."

               His words stabbed inside his own heart like a blade.  He was filled with the memories of his father, his uncle, his grandfather, and his mentor.  The four men who he had failed the entirety of his life.  He knew without doubt that Jessica stood among them in his mind, in his heart.  She was the most valuable woman in his life and he feared so desperately failing her as he felt he failed his heroes. 

               Jessica stood, shocked and confused.  She felt so inspired and yet so utterly dejected.  All at once he had given her the most wonderful gift she had ever felt from a man, while simultaneously cutting her deeper than anyone she had ever known.  Thedric stepped away and began to pivot.  Allowing himself one more glance at his heart's desire, putting upon himself a stoic facade.  He knew he would always love her.  He knew he would always think of her.  He knew if he gave himself the gift of her, that she would suffer under the tyranny of his constant failures.  Above all others, he knew the truth about life.  It was better to live alone then live in pain; and even if Jessica chose to live alone, at least without him, she wouldn't have to live in his pain.  For him, leaving her there, in the college parking lot with a gentle rain threatening, was the only mercy he could give anyone.  Typical to a man of his origin, Thedric had formed this plan in fractions of a moment.  He knew leaving her was the right thing to do.  Taking himself out of the equation was the only way to keep her from truly falling in love with him.  But Thedric had failed most things in his life.  He often forgot he was only half the man he was intended to be and thus, his plans only ever looked at half the options.

               He pulled himself away and took his last lingering glance at his goddess.  In that moment of a moment, Jessica had an epiphany of her own.  Thedric was the man she had been forced all her life to wait for.  Without him, nothing and no one could ever compare.  His plan wasn't rejecting, it wasn't selfish.  He truly believed he was doing the best thing for her that he knew to do.  She tried to reach out for his hand, to stop him, but he was already too far away.  Letting him go, she felt inside, would kill her.  Perhaps slowly, absolutely with agony; but it would kill her eventually.  The only way to change the game, she knew, wasn't to keep selflessness in motion. She needed to act selfishly if she stood a chance to stop the way things were being played.

               Holding back the sobs of lonely rejection, Jessica shouted to him; "You're right Thedric!  You're a flawed man with imperfect ways.  But you can't leave me now!  I have needed you my whole life!  Leaving me now, cold and alone, will only kill me!  And I refuse to begin dying today!"

               Thedric stopped in his tracks.  He heard her every word like they were an ice pick shoved into his eye.  Her words were ice, they were damning, her words were power.  With all his eloquent speech and pretty phrases, he could think of nothing to rebuke her.  Instead, he turned around again, to face her.  But she was already a blur upon a still wind.  She too was eloquent, though her prowess hadn't been with words.  Jessica was beauty in motion; perfection in movement, and she was moving as quickly as she could towards him.  He barely had time to get his arms up to catch her as she slammed into him, knowing he would capture her.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressed her lips against his and refused to release her kiss, an obvious warning for him not to speak.  Thedric wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling her exquisite breasts pushing back at his chest.  Jessica had pushed herself so hard into him that he could feel her heart beating quickly and powerfully.  He realized she couldn't let him go.  Her heart was not calming and soothing, it was passionate and near broken.  She had become wild, fervent, and unrelenting.  He laughed a little, as a tear formed into his own eye.  She might devour him whole, but she would also love him in the only way he could accept in a woman.  She would give him honesty and loyalty.  She would give him tolerance and respect.  She would demand all these things from him, and she would have it.  She would love him in these things as so few women ever love.  She would love him for him and not for the things or ways which he could provide. He thought briefly in that moment something he heard his tutor once say to him, "My boy, you are a warrior born and yet a man of divinity, as my heroes have always been.  So Listen to the words my great uncle once said to me, 'Poetry is thought and emotion colliding while music is poetry in motion.'  I have always believed these words to be the most potent of all mans revelations."

               Thedric had the words to be thought and emotion in collision.  Jessica was poetry in motion.  Apart, they were beautiful and fragile; together they were potent and immovable.  In this embrace, there was no more world.  All things melted away as the rain began to drizzle.  Neither could truly recall leaving the parking lot.  All they knew was that somehow they had entered the doorway to Thedric's house, were their thoughts, emotions and the collision of unstoppable forces would cement them forever into unity, never again questioning one another's bond to the other.

Author's Note

This short snippet was originally intended for a much larger story that I had planned tow rite. However, that particular work has never really finished it's formation in my mind. So i decided to write a few more snippets like this with the intent of publishing the single scenes in an environment like this.
(The pic given to this work is the image of my friend Jessica to whom inspired the scene.)
I am very interested to get thoughts and critiques on this style. Thanks for Reading.