Ana Is Your Most Persistent Friend

Ana Is Your Most Persistent Friend

A Poem by Evangeline Allyson Monroe
"

I have been struggling lately, so this is what I wrote in response to what I am feeling. :) Enjoy

"

Her blonde hair flowing, cascading down her back,

My mousey brown ponytail in complete contrast

Her deadly blue eyes bore into mine,

I think, How long will this last?


Are You proud of what you did,”

She finally begins to jeer.

Are you proud of that mistake?”

She begins to sneer.


I thought it would be alright.

It was not much anyway.”

I begin to try to defend myself from her.

I can start another day.”


You are fat, you are ugly,

How could anyone love you?

Listen to my words closely,

I will explain what you have to do.”


No, I listened to you enough.

I have done your hideous deeds before.

I don't want to go there again,

I know what you have in store!”


Her mouth went straight.

She got up and began to walk away,

Are you sure you want that,”

She began to say.


Remember, I have been there always.

Every second, I looked out for you.

I want you to look good.

Haven't you noticed that I am your only friend that is still true?”


Ana, what do you want?

I gave you all I had,

I gave you more than that.

You are only a passing fad.”


If that's what you want, I will go now.”

With that she silently shut the door.

Along with all of my horrible, lonesome thoughts,

My only true friend that I ever had left me on the floor.


Wait,” I called after her.

She opened the door and popped her head in.

What do you want?”

I want you to come back, no matter if it is a sin.”


I knew you would.

No one ever truly wants me to leave.

Now, I have a whole new round of tricks

All that I keep up my other sleeve.”


She showed me her tricks,

She showed me all she had to offer,

She talked with me, and told me her secrets

And, in the end, I sadly believed her.


Right now, you are hideous �" beyond ugly.

And you are extremely fat.

120 pounds is horrendous;

Who could ever love that?


Everyone notices everything all the time,

Everyone can always see

That is why I think you should

Stay close by me.”


Can I ever be like you,”

I ask at last.

Be like me? Exactly like me?

Because I did not get like this very fast.”


Yes. Exactly like you.

That is the only thing I want to be.”

I admitted the final thing on my heart.

Follow me and you can get exactly what you see.”


Enticed and convinced, I followed her close,

I followed each and every one of her ways

Until I found myself starving,

Famished for days and days.


I lost five pounds.

Isn't that enough?”

She slapped me hard on the cheek

Oh, you think that's rough?”


Four more weeks past and I trusted her.

I followed her every whim, her every will.

But I starved and I craved and I drank only water.

Empty, alienated and ten pounds lighter, I was ugly still.


When do I begin to look like you,”

I could barely croak out between pleas for mercy.

Ana could only laugh in my face.

Soon, soon. Keep going. Soon you will see!”


That's when I took a second glance at her once flawless face.

I noticed a crooked tooth and worn down eyes.

Her oily blonde hair and splotched complexion

Had been covered up by all of her lies.


You are ugly.”

I could not believe the words I said.

Why do you say that to your only friend?

Know what? You're better off dead.”


She pouted and starred through my clumsy gaze

But I can see everything that you tried to hide.

Everything you covered up from me since the start.

I can see who you truly are on the inside.”


Ana was taken aback by my sudden contempt.

No wonder I was your only friend!

You treat them worse than yourself.. which is saying something.

If you don't want me, you can meet your own end.”


With those words, she left the room.

I could still tell that she waited outside the door.

Ana,” I called for her, “Ana.

I don't want you here any more.”


Ana poked her head back in.

You are just saying things; you really want me!

If I was not here to guide you,

Then look how fat and ugly you would be!”


An image before me appeared of my old self.

Maybe.. Maybe I am better off normal than with you.”

Those final words struck her in just the right spot

For she left for good �" my room and my life, too.

© 2012 Evangeline Allyson Monroe


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

285 Views
Added on November 8, 2012
Last Updated on November 8, 2012
Tags: Anorexia, Self Harm, Negativity, Sadness, Depression