Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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The Lost

The Lost

A Poem by Shadowkai
"

Gone forever, never to be heard from again

"
Lost again
All alone
Darkness draws closer
You run further from home

Never looking back
You're gone forever
Pounding pavement
Splashing puddles

Nothing in your way
Yet you stop
You turn
Running back

Throwing open the door
You run into her arms
Heart pounding
Safe again

© 2015 Shadowkai


Author's Note

Shadowkai
I have tried to run away multiple times, and done many other terrible things, but i always ran back home. No matter how angry i was it couldn't defeat the guilt i felt from leaving them behind.
Please everyone... believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll reach it.

My Review

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Featured Review

I love the last stanza. Actually, I really like this whole poem.
Two suggestions.
First, can you find synonyms to the word run? In a 46 word poem you use some form of run 3 times, and it feels redundant.
Second, can you do something with punctuation or form to emphasize, "You stop?" A dash, an enter, a period. Something.
Nicely done.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I have no idea how many times I've felt like this. I love how you put you're feelings out there in a way most of us can understand. It's amazing when you realize you're not alone.

Posted 8 Years Ago


It is like you want to walk away. You want to be free, but you love them so much you can't.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shadowkai

8 Years Ago

I couldn't have said it better myself
I hope that soon you are able to find peace. I do see a theme in what writing of yours I have read. I am not really sure if the pain ever really goes away or if it just becomes more manageable over time as we grow thicker skin. in all reality, it is too bad that we have to do that. that we are forced to encapsulate pain in order to get through our lives. keep writing.. it sometimes is the only thing to help.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Though the words are good, it does not produce many emotions. I think some of the lines could be phrased differently to include relatable emotions. The reader wants to connect in some way to the writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love the last stanza. Actually, I really like this whole poem.
Two suggestions.
First, can you find synonyms to the word run? In a 46 word poem you use some form of run 3 times, and it feels redundant.
Second, can you do something with punctuation or form to emphasize, "You stop?" A dash, an enter, a period. Something.
Nicely done.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a wonderfully written poem!

It is also a poem, I believe some people can relate easly to..

The flow is nice :)

and the emotions where clearly expressed.

Nice work Shadowkai ;)

Your friend Lia.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I could really relate to this and I think a lot of people did to. We've all tried running away from home. But not only that, running away from our problems too. Trying to avoid them by just running far enough where they wont be able to haunt us again. And I analysed it like this:
I run a away from my problems, then as I try to get over them and start a fresh, I feel a sense of incomplete. Like something's missing inside. So i run back to my "safe spot" (Which is usually back to the problems I can't ignore) and "she" (as in...the problems) welcome me back with open arms. And somehow I feel really safer than running away!

Hope this makes sense! :D
Thanks for sharing

Aphy

Posted 8 Years Ago


A lot of emotions shared in the poetry. I did like the positive ending. Easy to become lost when standing alone. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote


Posted 8 Years Ago


This makes me think of an old Dennis the Menace comic book I read as a kid. It was the old "I cant cross the street" so he just went all the way around the block before ending up back at his own house. The excitement of the journey, then the fear of the unknown until the great relief of mother open arms. First let me thank you for reawakening that memory, I loved the Menace comics and second when a writer can connect enough with their readers then they have done a very good job :~)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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287 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 21, 2015
Last Updated on October 21, 2015
Tags: Lost, Gone, Alone

Author

Shadowkai
Shadowkai

Rochester, NY



About
I am a 16 year old writer, i will be posting one to two poems each day. On every Monday i will post additions to "The End of Humanity" and every Wednesday i will add to "Bane of The Darkness". Fridays.. more..

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