Deeper

Not too sure..I think I wrote this to stay awake in History class.

I fight the tendrils of despair, wrapping their

cold fingers around my skin

Begging me

Inviting me to jump in

Fall head first into deadening numbness

Asking to take me away from here

Far away

Away from prying eyes and pity

Away from you

Take the bait

Says the cold voice

Let it deaden you

Make the pain disappear

Let me fill the hole

No, not fill it

Silence it

Let it sleep awhile

Reviews

[Crusaderscross]

This really my style of writing. It reminds me of one of my poems. Love your choice of words and the flow is superb. There is a sense of loss here but at the same time the quest for hope. This is my take anyway. Loved it.

As for the other poem, you could take them out or rearrange them to keep the level of emotion.