My Ghosts

My Ghosts

A Poem by ShanZ-Turn
"

When I first wrote this piece, i added the images. I somehow feel they add much to the overall piece,as opposed to detracting from it. I tend to use photos and art in many of my pieces, and am not sure i can give a solid reason for it.. some say I should

"

 

 

Where does it come from?
For so long now
there has been nothing there.




Like a wraith,
appearing out of thin air.
Feeling not a thing,
the familiar for so long now.




Then it engulfs me.
Sorrow,
deeper than my heart can hold.
Emptiness,
further than my eye’s can see.
Starting at my toes.




Rushing up,
devouring me whole.
Holding my breath,
to survive
the depth of pain.



 

Feeling my chest tighten
against the pressure in vain.
Waiting for the phantom to slide back.
Back to the nothingness




from which it first came.

© 2008 ShanZ-Turn


Author's Note

ShanZ-Turn
Let me have it..... am looking or honest input

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Featured Review

The images, aside from the first, title image, really add to the impact of the poem. The title image just does not feel ghostly to me. Also, I think that "Back to the nothingness/from which it first came." should be paired together at the end. As is, the image between the two disrupts the flow of the poem. You already have a "back" at the end of the third to last line, so a connection between it and "Back to the nothingness" has been established that the image will not disrupt. "which" could also be switched with "whence" for a more poetic feel.

The line "starting at my toes." feels a bit awkward as well. I've got no suggestions for a replacement, though.

Overall, the flow was good, the imagery, while a tad cliche, was nicely done, and the images were a wonderful touch.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I really liked this poem, especially how you incorporated the pictures in between stanzas. That was very creative.

Posted 16 Years Ago


The images and words of the poem fit so nicely together, the poem is intense and speaks clearly. Well Done. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I LOVE the way the pictures gave the poem a little something more. This is a great write and I am really looking forward to reading more. This poem has such a strong intensity to it and I am just trilled to be apart of it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The images, aside from the first, title image, really add to the impact of the poem. The title image just does not feel ghostly to me. Also, I think that "Back to the nothingness/from which it first came." should be paired together at the end. As is, the image between the two disrupts the flow of the poem. You already have a "back" at the end of the third to last line, so a connection between it and "Back to the nothingness" has been established that the image will not disrupt. "which" could also be switched with "whence" for a more poetic feel.

The line "starting at my toes." feels a bit awkward as well. I've got no suggestions for a replacement, though.

Overall, the flow was good, the imagery, while a tad cliche, was nicely done, and the images were a wonderful touch.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 4, 2008
Last Updated on June 4, 2008


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