Divorced

Divorced

A Poem by Kat

2 years
of watching you
trying to kill yourself
watching you dying 
a little bit more each day
you said you'd love me forever
you said you'd live till
200
and I believed you
most people thought it was strokes
others thought it was heart attacks
no one really knew
pills found under the mattresses
pills found in your pockets
you were getting sicker by the day
yet things managed to go the same
almost everyday
you'd go to the hospital
and i'd come home
to a torn apart house
with no one home
is daddy okay?!
is all i could think
mommy knew about your plan
she said she'd leave you
if you kept doing this
but still it never stopped you
the last time you went to the hospital
mommy  filed for divorce
I didn't see you
for what seemed like
another 2 years
2 years of my life
lost without you
I blamed mommy
for tearing our family apart
fighting with everyone
never making them want to come here
sissy moved to Alaska
because she didn't feel accepted
mommy always kicked
brother out of the house
eventually one day
she pulled us all into the living room
saying she felt
no one cared about her
honestly I didn't
she started saying
mean things about you
brother went downstairs
he hated this
I yelled at her to stop
but she never listens
I tried walking away
but she forced me to stay
I wish that I had 
runaway'd 
that day
she said you cheated on her
you tried electrocuting yourself
she said
that sense you tried
killing yourself 
you'd eventually try to 
kill us too
I yelled
I screamed
I did everything I could 
to deny it
why was I born into this
is all i could think
I told her I wouldn't believe her
but she kept telling me its true 
is it true daddy?
who should I believe?
your'e gonna tell me to believe you
shes gonna tell me to believe her
she could be lying
jealousy might be taking over her
sense we worship the path you walk on daddy
I wouldn't be in this mess
if she tried to make you feel accepted
and you didn't try to kill yourself
how can I face you tomorrow?
whose telling the truth?
were am I gonna find all the answers?
why does it have to be so hard?
whens the truth gonna come out? 
who broke our family?
who do I believe?
I don't know who or what 
to believe anymore
 

© 2011 Kat


Author's Note

Kat
This is the actual story of my parents divorce so its like a story/poem sorry if it doesn't make sense it was written in a form of kinda like a letter written to my dad as if i was a 5yr old girl kinda look at it any way you want

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Reviews

How terribly sad, and I'm sorry to hear this is a true story. My parents have been divorced and married multiple times, and I thought that played a toll on a child's mental capabilities. This is so much worse

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is an amazing piece. It took me back to my own parents divorce, though it seems the result of your parents divorce was far different than man and the years after. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are a strong person.

Posted 9 Years Ago


this brought me to tears for sure.... omg.... so sad... :( but amazing piece of poetry

Posted 9 Years Ago


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A beautifully and saddening poem to read. I feel that you were so young to go through so much at such an age. It's amazing you still remember, but then again, it would be a hard memory to forget. You've written a heartbreaking poem, and the nature of a five year old really did come out into this. Amazing job. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


There is a lot of pain in this. I hate that you had to go through it. when my parents divorced it took from the time i was a toddler until I was 13 and she sent me to live with him to understand why she left in the first place. My mom tried to protect us and I can see why, The man that we had worshiped was a drug abusing monster, a person that I claim to this day is dead. But in a sense he is dead. To me at least. There are times when you have to stop and think about what you saw and what your mom did to protect you. Often times parents love each other very much but their love isn't enough when it comes to their children. In a way your mom was trying to protect you, she may have gone the wrong way about it, but in the end it's what she was doing.
Don't worry to much about it. The truth will come out sooner or later. I love you little one, And I am here if you need.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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266 Views
6 Reviews
Added on May 13, 2011
Last Updated on May 14, 2011
Tags: divorce, divorced, truth, painful, reality

Author

Kat
Kat

no, United Kingdom



About
I can't say much I only live for my friends I love Bring Me The Horizon Anything else? Just ask me... I'm not that interesting I honestly want to die more..

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