What Used To Be

What Used To Be

A Poem by Shelby Baker

 

 

Every time i hear your name


it shakes me to the core


shivers run up and down my spine


shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble


reminding me everyday


                                                          what used to be..


The memory's  twists my insides


like a salty  twisted Pretzel


expect pretzels are good


the twisting i feel hurts


Feels like a hammer slamming down


 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces


thats what my heart feels like


                                                          What used to be...


Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can


Go on with my life and tell myself


how meaningless you are.


                                                            Now Today..


A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart


looping its self around and around


before squeezing the very warmth out


Killing any compassion i had for you at one time


It feels like the top of my head is sliced open


with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone


        just like yesterday.

 
 
 
 
 

© 2009 Shelby Baker


Author's Note

Shelby Baker
Woot got out of my writers block :)

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Featured Review

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow...i'm at a loss for words. I love the imagery of the rope coiling around the heart, immediately made me want to draw it out. And the ending...that's powerful. Sorry that this isn't really constructive.

Hope to get around to throwing my story into chapters today so it will be easier to read.

Posted 12 Years Ago


An enjoyable poem to read and a wonderful ending. Great writing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


beautiful poem :-)


Posted 12 Years Ago


A excellent poem. One of my favorite lines in writing. What used to be. Description and your story in the poem made this a powerful poem. Thank you.


Posted 12 Years Ago


That is some mighty powerful mojo you be writing:) I like how you creating an interesting structure for your poem. You are really creative.


Posted 12 Years Ago


i love the line about your alright bubble..
we all have these.
and we feel so,, insecure when those bubbles burst.
stunning write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Man oh man I know exactly how you feel. All too well. Carzy how one person can infiltrate your mind to that extent. Sometimes you don't want to lose them, but usually it's for the better.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Eek!

The slicing of the head made me 'eek'. But interesting contrast with butterflies coming out. That had to be my favourite stanza. Because what used to be is finally free from the mind. Sure you had to slice it out, but the recovery can happen beautifully.

Angsty, but hopeful and liberating. Refreshing ending. Nice.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love it!
I like the imagery you used!


Posted 12 Years Ago



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53 Reviews
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Added on August 11, 2009
Last Updated on October 22, 2009

Author

Shelby Baker
Shelby Baker

Ware, MA



About
center> [~]Shelby Ace Baker [~] May 21 [~] Massachusetts [~] Smart & Witty [~] Sarcastic on occasion more..

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