What Used To Be

What Used To Be

A Poem by Shelby Baker

 

 

Every time i hear your name


it shakes me to the core


shivers run up and down my spine


shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble


reminding me everyday


                                                          what used to be..


The memory's  twists my insides


like a salty  twisted Pretzel


expect pretzels are good


the twisting i feel hurts


Feels like a hammer slamming down


 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces


thats what my heart feels like


                                                          What used to be...


Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can


Go on with my life and tell myself


how meaningless you are.


                                                            Now Today..


A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart


looping its self around and around


before squeezing the very warmth out


Killing any compassion i had for you at one time


It feels like the top of my head is sliced open


with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone


        just like yesterday.

 
 
 
 
 

© 2009 Shelby Baker


Author's Note

Shelby Baker
Woot got out of my writers block :)

My Review

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Featured Review

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

VERY WELL WRITTEN ... I CAN RELATE TO IT... I LOVED THE BEGINNING...

Posted 12 Years Ago


wow you go girl
peace
wm melvin

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow, this is a very well written piece. The emotions are so raw and very relatable. I love the strong story that is being played out through your memories and new emotions with this person. Wonderful job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


wow this is really really amazing. i can totay relate to it. i feel the same way lol. amazing job


:D

Posted 12 Years Ago


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ace
very well written nice job good emotion

Posted 12 Years Ago


As others have said; this is a very expressive piece. ... We all feel the constrictions of old feelings. And we can never truly progress forward until we're able to untie the knots and let go.

And writers block can just go bugger off! Noose should be around its neck... nyeh. ;)

Posted 12 Years Ago


i can really relate to this. very well written

Posted 12 Years Ago


expressive poem ... words in this poem talk about feelings ... maybe not met ... interesting form thoughts .. good work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow! This is really well written! You are a very talented writer and this was great! There were a few minor spelling errors (trust me, my spelling errors are worse though. haha.) but besides that this was absolutely amazing. Really. Great! Keep writing!


~MEL

Posted 12 Years Ago


I'm not that great at giving reviews, especially with poetry but i did notice a couple of things that I'll suggest on...

-- Killing any compassion i had for you at one time
Would this flow better if it was written something like this?..
-- Killing any compassion i once had for you.

I find that the fewer words used the better. Just have to make the few words count.
I liked this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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1418 Views
53 Reviews
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Added on August 11, 2009
Last Updated on October 22, 2009

Author

Shelby Baker
Shelby Baker

Ware, MA



About
center> [~]Shelby Ace Baker [~] May 21 [~] Massachusetts [~] Smart & Witty [~] Sarcastic on occasion more..

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