What Used To Be

What Used To Be

A Poem by Shelby Baker

 

 

Every time i hear your name


it shakes me to the core


shivers run up and down my spine


shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble


reminding me everyday


                                                          what used to be..


The memory's  twists my insides


like a salty  twisted Pretzel


expect pretzels are good


the twisting i feel hurts


Feels like a hammer slamming down


 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces


thats what my heart feels like


                                                          What used to be...


Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can


Go on with my life and tell myself


how meaningless you are.


                                                            Now Today..


A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart


looping its self around and around


before squeezing the very warmth out


Killing any compassion i had for you at one time


It feels like the top of my head is sliced open


with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone


        just like yesterday.

 
 
 
 
 

© 2009 Shelby Baker


Author's Note

Shelby Baker
Woot got out of my writers block :)

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Featured Review

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Awesome! I loved the poem! And especially good for someone that just got out of their writers block. I really enjoyed reading it.. A few spelling mistakes here and there, but it's fine otherwise :) Great poem.

--Blood

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like it. I have felt it. It has hurt.

Glad you are out of your writers block. It does feel good to write, eh?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Woah! Totally amazing!


"Every time i hear your name



it shakes me to the core



shivers run up and down my spine



shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble



reminding me everyday



what used to be.."


I can really relate to that, it's almost scary.
Aweome piece of writing! =)






Posted 12 Years Ago


I really like this the open honest feelings one gets when a person you love can't or won't love you back. That pretzel twist I think we all who are passionate have had in the pit of our stomach.
Nicely penned
kewel
lionman

Posted 12 Years Ago


This poem is overflowing with emotion and mixed feelings. Very nice. Letting go is like that. Good luck!

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Lee
Hey, Shelby, from the beach. I happened across you and your writing and I liked this. You clearly stated this relationship was on the slippery slope and over the edge. Your pace and word selection...very good. I'm not a poem reader, but I fully got the plot. Poor guy...so, keep smilin'...Lee

Posted 12 Years Ago


i love it


Posted 12 Years Ago


A couple of typos that could be fixed, like except in place of expect. Almost like a song in the structure, well done work. I think you could tweak it into something much better, maybe even to a great work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is very sad but well written i liked the anger and passion shown here like a true writer you have embraced all of your emotions and placed your deepest thoughts in to the open perhaps attempting to rid yourself of this useless feeling that one day soon things might turn around for you and the young man who has created such turmoil in your life.
I liked the references to yesterday and today and the verse about the heart being effectively strangled with all of the love gone out it and your reference to a head which is now empty of emotion and feelings.

Posted 12 Years Ago


great poem... very good imagery and use of words.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on August 11, 2009
Last Updated on October 22, 2009

Author

Shelby Baker
Shelby Baker

Ware, MA



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center> [~]Shelby Ace Baker [~] May 21 [~] Massachusetts [~] Smart & Witty [~] Sarcastic on occasion more..

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