Untitled

Untitled

A Poem by Shelby Baker

 

Hands clammy
Heart beating wildly
I knew this was coming
Hope you would have  changed your mind
Now I don't know what to think
I watch your lips as you speak those words
My heart is racing
Tears stinging
'Why?'
The world floats between us
'Why?'
Your answer is simple
'Right thing for me'
Stomach whirling
Heart squeezing
Feels like the world is falling
I don't want to hear it anymore
Nerves rack my stomach
Hands caress my back
Your warmth
your smell
encloses me
I relax against your warm body
'Shh it's going to be okay'
You whisper in my ear
Trusting you fully as I have before
'I might have joined the military and be sent over but i'll always be with you'
And for some reason those words brought comfort
I knew you'd always be with me no matter what.

 
 
 

© 2009 Shelby Baker


Author's Note

Shelby Baker
I feel like it just dragged on.
I will most likely redo it but i had to place it down

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Reviews

loved it shel...

Posted 13 Years Ago


This one works pretty well as free-form. Nice descriptions.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I don't think you need to re-do it. It's perfect at its position. I like how at the beginning it all go soft then emotion goes strong over the line "I might have joined the military.....", and then it goes softer again until the end. Let's just say, it's smooth until the end. Nice.


Posted 13 Years Ago


I like this one better. The statement "I might have joined the military and be sent over but I'll always be with you. Was stronger words then the new one. Both were very good.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


very touching poem, love the way you are able to express your emotions through your word choice

Posted 14 Years Ago


I watch your lips as you speak those words
My heart is racing
Tears stinging
'Why?'

I love it! Very powerful. I'll admit, at first I thought it was going to be yet another breakup poem but you really made it special. Great job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


touching, almost like a song, this is beautiful. A wonderful poem, thank you for sharing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Aww! Wow! Such fear as you start out, but I love the end when faith and love come together. This was very fluent and easy to read. Excellent work! I look forward to checking out more of your work. :) Have a good weekend. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


i really like this; my brother was just recently shipped overseas so this poem has a deep effect. I really like how you keep the mystery until the end; enticing us to continue reading. It definitely didnt drag on. I loved it

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow. this was really powerful. i cried a little bit! at first i thought it was about a breakup or something but it was about something much worse. I didn't think it dragged on at all. very nice. :*( but sad. good job :D

Posted 14 Years Ago



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642 Views
21 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 29, 2009
Last Updated on November 2, 2009

Author

Shelby Baker
Shelby Baker

Ware, MA



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center> [~]Shelby Ace Baker [~] May 21 [~] Massachusetts [~] Smart & Witty [~] Sarcastic on occasion more..

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