Beat

Beat

A Poem by BlueEyes

the red breasted Robin's Heart

beats....

beats...

beats...

upon the bars of black ebony

until red rubies drip

from its heart red breast

 

and Time stops to weep

to its

beats...

beats...

beats...

upon the bars of black ebony

the ruby dripping Robin

Sings to the

 

beats...

beats...

beats...

© 2011 BlueEyes


Author's Note

BlueEyes
Is there too much repitition?
Critiques are welcomed and appreciated!

My Review

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Reviews

I like this one. The interesting format and rhythm is very unique--this is the first time I've run across anything like it

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicely written. the sacrifice and pain of Robin is nicely penned down. good work. Word beats fit well into rhythm of the poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


You create a rhythm that takes us into the enchantment of the robin's world... and that movement and life are simply beautiful!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved this. It was a different taste for me and I enjoyed it. Nicely done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it< but there is still something I am hearing that you are not saying in this piece

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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375 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 16, 2011
Last Updated on October 16, 2011

Author

BlueEyes
BlueEyes

Santa Barbara, CA



About
I've been telling stories since I was a little girl (mostly to myself and my imaginary friends), and I guess around the end of elementary school, I finally began writing some of these stories. So that.. more..

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