The Basin

The Basin

A Poem by BlueEyes
"

Finally wrote something! It's been so long...

"

Twilight in the basin

a tangerine and cotton candy sky

it’s the chemicals that made it so

beautiful and gasping for life

asthmatic children wake up and play

 

It’s night in the basin

stars appear in vertical columns

shadows pass; flicker and dance

below people are in tin boxes and rubber soles

bouncing on the cold granite ground

 

Within this basin

in the tangerine clouds and star towers

there is a city of angels

wearing flip-flops and drinking coke

singing dreams and coughing up nightmares

until the city ignites into a cleansing flame

 

 

 

© 2011 BlueEyes


Author's Note

BlueEyes
Critiques and comments are welcomed and appreciated!

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Featured Review

Beautifully written. You did a great job of describing everything and I could picture everything that you described in your poem. I also liked the part about drinking coke and wearing flip flops because anyone can relate to that and picture themselves. My favorite lines were the first : "Twilight in the basin
a tangerine and cotton candy sky" mainly because I never thought of describing the twilight as cotton candy but it works really well. Well Done!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautifully written. You did a great job of describing everything and I could picture everything that you described in your poem. I also liked the part about drinking coke and wearing flip flops because anyone can relate to that and picture themselves. My favorite lines were the first : "Twilight in the basin
a tangerine and cotton candy sky" mainly because I never thought of describing the twilight as cotton candy but it works really well. Well Done!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 29, 2011
Last Updated on November 29, 2011

Author

BlueEyes
BlueEyes

Santa Barbara, CA



About
I've been telling stories since I was a little girl (mostly to myself and my imaginary friends), and I guess around the end of elementary school, I finally began writing some of these stories. So that.. more..

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