Safe part 1

Safe part 1

A Chapter by Shep

Chapter 45


Part 1

Mom and Dad learned two lessons that Sunday. One: when Bishop Lanwall says something he means it. Second: that God has a sense of humor after watching their boys and most of the boys in our ward going barefoot and shirtless. Personally, I thought that Bishop Lanwall was trying to make me feel better and accepted instead of me or any boy or girl having to stay home and locked in their house. Just because of some inflection that requires them to be a little indecent for Sunday worship; when it is perfectly ok at swimming pool dressed in a bathing suit; or boys playing or working in the hot sun in nothing more than a pair of shorts.

Note when you look at pictures of angels either a child or adults take a good look at what they are not wearing. In most cases, you will find them barefoot. Even in small countries where the population is poor. Children and adults if they are lucky; have nothing more than a pair of shorts or even less, when they are in public, school or church. Do you think God judges them any different than us because they don’t own fancy clothes, jewelry, cars, and houses?

Some people dream of going to school in nothing but their underwear and having everyone laugh at them. But in reality, what do you think would really happen? They’d snicker and maybe laugh, but they’d get over it. Now I am not saying to try it, but I am also saying there are worst things to worry about. Like what Dad was going to do to me after we got home. After having him and all his boys, foster boys included. Sit in front of the whole ward staring at us in nothing but our church slacks. It didn’t matter so much if the ladies went barefoot in church even small children, heck we all seen it and passed it off as nothing important and went on with our lives.

But the main problem is that everyone had seen my back. Which doesn’t look like anything like a skateboard accident? Even though Bishop Lanwall let them all make their own conclusions how it really happened; that dark secret had come and gone and every week it will be a reminder of it; Even more so if I am the only one not wearing a shirt over the next few weeks.

Dad was angry, as we went back to his office to pick up our clothes. He was so angry he tossed them all in the car yelling angrily for us all to get in and squealing the tires as we made a quick getaway. Swearing that was the most embarrassing moment in his entire life. Cussing that Bishop Lanwall made our family look like fools. Dad was furious driving like a mad man slamming the car door and telling us to get in the house, slamming the door behind him. Then realized he had forgotten our clothes he had thrown in the trunk of the car. Yelling; “damn it to hell!” Yanking the door open and didn’t come back for a full hour; hot and sweaty and plopped down on the coach still only dressed in his church slacks. The soles of his feet were black as if he had taken a long walk up and down the fields.

No one said a word just left him there. No one dared speak except under hush voices; leaving him to his silence. Mom tried to tell me that I wasn’t the blame to get me to stop crying and hid crouched in the corner every time Dad moved or made a sound. That sounded like a wild animal tossing books or coach pillows against the wall. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to my room closing the door and climbed under the bed with my pillow. Shane tried to get me to come out, but I wouldn’t move a single inch saying Dad was going to take it out on me because it was my fault.

Shane tried to reason with me, that was Mom and Dads fault for not listen to the doctor’s orders or the Bishops, and we were all on display, not just me, but it didn’t make a lick of difference so he laid on the floor with me, telling me to scoot over. Mom came in a couple of hours later, yelling that I had run away. Shane sticking his head out stating I was right here with him and to keep her voice down that he just calmed me enough to have me dozes off. Mom told Dad to calm down, that I was just under the bed and I had fallen asleep so there was no need to panic.

Mom closed the door leaving me and Shane alone; until it was time to change the bandages and for my pills. Shane woke me and slid out, but I wouldn’t come out fearing Dad’s wrath. After all, he still has his belt and from experience I knew it could be just as lethal, again you can thank my father for that. Dad and Shane picked up the bed and moved it since I wouldn’t come out and Dad didn’t want to risk hurting me more. Shane quickly pounced on me before I could go back under.

Forgetting I was a strong little bugger when I was terrified and being no match as I quickly bucked him off. Only to ended up in Dads arm pressing me against his bare chest holding me in half nelson; telling me to calm down. That he wasn’t angry at me, he was angry at himself and the Bishop taking it too far. Finally, he let me go and helped me off the floor so Mom could change the bandages telling Mom that I was running a little hot.

Shane asked tub or shower? While Mom took my temperature telling Dad it was 101. I said shower but lost as Shane ran the tub instead. Telling me I either climb in there or he climbs in with me clothes and all. I stood there pondering if he would. Watch him quickly take off his pants and his boxers. I didn’t think he was serious until he grabbed me by the waist and climbed in with me holding my shoulders down as I screamed and tried to get up. Dad opened the door seeing us in the tub Shane telling him, he doesn’t need any help. Dad laughed and closed the door telling Mom to grab more towels. I stopped screaming; realizing that it would be practically impossible for anyone to drown me with the both of us in the same tub. I said. “Fine, I didn’t think you would actually do it.”

“Why not? Were brothers, it’s not like we have never bathed together before. Now stand up so I can take your wet clothes off so I can see that cute butt.” Shane tossed my wet clothes into the sink and washed my back removing all the bandages that hadn’t fallen off. Handing me the soap so I could wash my front and doused me until my temperature dropped.

Telling me this was much easier to wash my back then having to lean over and do it and still get wet in the process. I said. “The pool would have been easier,” He said he couldn’t argue that and it was way more fun. Mom came in dropped off towels and our boxers grinning from ear to ear picking up Shane’s clothes off the floor. Shane didn’t say anything except to say it was the only way to get me in the tub and I had earned a little brotherly payback. Mom closed the door letting us have or privacy and waited in the kitchen until we were ready for my pills and bandages. Shane put our wet towels and my clothes into the laundry. Took a seat next too me at the table, nobody said anything as we filled our plates since everyone else had already started without us.

Dad grinned when he looked over at us said. “Sounds like Shane needs a new roommate and I and your mother could use a good night sleep. So tomorrow will move you upstairs and Arthur can stay in your room instead of going back to his own room.”

Shawn growled. “Mule boy”

And Dad growled. “We don’t use that word in this house anymore. And until you learn that, you will do half of Eric’s chores and half of Arthur’s; and if I hear it again, you will do all of them. Now go to your room before I slap you silly or take my belt to you. I’d whip you until your back looks like his, but we burned every whip in this house. And I promised never to use it again. So move before I change my mind.”

Dad had Shane bring up his sleeping bag and pillow and his clothes that he be wearing tomorrow for school, but it didn’t make a whole lot difference having woken up screaming in terror. Dad was there into seconds hearing the thunder over the house and seeing the lightning flash through my window. Shane was already on top of me fighting to keep me from hurting myself screaming for Dad to help him as I bucked him off onto the floor.

Even with the two of them I still escaped and fled out the door and outside having set off the alarm letting them know, I had opened the door that led outside. Dad and Shane running after me as I run down the field in total panic and beyond terrified and angry as the lightning flashed and the cold rain beat against me, looking for a place to hide in the middle of nowhere yelling to my phantoms that only I could see. “Dad, don’t you dare touch me and Aaron one more time or I will kill you with my bare hands.”

I screamed yelling kicking my mother who wasn’t really there like a wild animal. “Mom don’t you dare hurt him.” pointing to Aarons ghost! Punching wooden post thinking it was my mother, blooding my hands and knuckles and feet as I turned around I felt someone grabbed me. Thinking it was my father I screamed even louder and kicking free grabbing a frayed rope from the ground thinking it was my father’s belt.

Slashing it back and forth hearing the leather whistle in my mind yelling; “you took me away from the only parents and family that ever loved me.” Kicking and punching as hard as I could in the air at their phantom ghosts. “You beat me and Aaron just so you can, knowing you could get away with it. You starved us and lied to us over and over. Locking us in the church boiler-room, beating the crap out of us day after day; lying that we had run away, just so you could keep me from the Downing’s, the only family that loved me.”

Lightning flashed and thunder boomed over my head, but all I saw was my mother with a whip in her hand and my father with a belt in his. I fell backward into the water screaming seeing my father’s phantom over me feeling his hands as he was drowning me. Only to be brought up out of the water chocking for air and thrown to the ground as he quickly lay on top of me from feeling the weight on my chest coughing the water out of my lungs, try to get the air that wasn’t there. I could fill his fingers in my mouth causing me to vomit and cough gasping for air.

My father roughly turned me on my stomach and pinning me to the ground while I yelled and coughed more water out of my lungs. “Dad get off me and fight like a man so I can kill you?” I couldn’t move as I felt my father tie my hands and feet, I tried to break looses, but I couldn’t, and it angered me even more, trying to bite free the bonds that were holding me like a wild animal. I could see my father’s eyes as he stood over me helpless.

My mother standing next to him; I knew I was beaten, but I still struggled against my bonds, twisting and turning to avoid the invisible whips and belts from touching and screamed louder as they did. I felt something warm and heavy around me constricting my movements as if I was wrapped inside a cocoon and lifted me into the air. Like a sack of potatoes and put over my father's shoulder.

I screamed. “No!” I won’t let you do this to me again!” Over and over struggling to get loose only to be held only tighter; I screamed even louder in complete terror and redoubled my effort trying to escape my father clutches. I yelled kicking and screaming. “I won’t let you beat me or my brother any longer. Put me down and fight me so I can kill you and send you to hell where you belong.”

I sensed bright light and the storm quieted to nothing, I felt the warm air hit my face. I screamed Jeff’s name and got no answer as I laid there in the calm. Trying to figure out where my parents placed me wrapped tightly and unable to move. I turned my head from one side to the other, try to wiggle free while I looked around my prison, but I saw no one as I struggled to get free. I tasted blood in my mouth and rope strands against my teeth and gums; then I heard Shane’s voice as he shook me wake in his arms holding me tight against his bare chest constricting my movements, even more, telling me I was safe. I cried sobbing into his shoulder as my eyes open and cleared; lifting the fog from my eyes and my mind letting the nightmare wash over me.

I could see my blood on Shane’s chest and arms. He smelled awful like me of wet manure and stale water. Telling me my parents can’t find me. I am safe. I cried harder. Shane asked me “do you know where you are?”

I nodded and said, “I am in hell, Dads going to kill me.”

Shane laughed “not today,” unraveling the blanket around me and untied my hands and feet letting me lye there on my bed, letting me calm myself watching the storm from my window.

Shane had me repeat over and over; “I am safe, I am safe in my bed and in my room. The monsters are not real.”

© 2019 Shep

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hi thanks so much for looking at some of my work, have put a few of your stories on my to do read list for later, busy right now, but will get there !!! take care. thanks again

Posted 6 Months Ago


5 Months Ago

as long as come back thats what matters most

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Added on April 8, 2019
Last Updated on May 10, 2019



Santaquin, UT

Updated Feb 09, 20 2019 In short I am a Male 52 years of age and Permanently Disabled due to a car accident and suffer from seizures and Sever PTSD. So I have a lot of time on my hands. One of t.. more..

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