Returned Among The Living part 2

Chapter 34-1

Returned Among The Living

Part 2

It had seemed I had just closed my eyes before Mom came back as promised closing the bedroom door so we could be alone once more. Telling me it took longer then she expected but was a concern that she wouldn’t get another chance to visit before my Dad came home. Expecting dinner right at six o’clock; and was worried that if she left me without my daily prayers, that he would be angry. He would most likely take it out on me, saying it was my fault, and then beat me again for disobeying.

I nodded and said. “I didn’t want him to be angry, because I don’t think I would live through another beating like the last one. But I don’t think I could get on my knees without Shane’s help.” She agreed and called for Shane as she took my hand doing her best to help me sit up. But the pain was too great and I couldn’t keep my head up without getting dizzy from the fever. Jeff still hadn’t returned as I searched the empty place in my mind where he and I were linked by thoughts and feelings. I was getting concerned as the day progressed into the night.

Shane came in with Jody telling us that Dad was on his way home. Mom seemed stressed as she looked at me lying helpless in so much pain. She knew that she needed to attend to other things and she couldn’t be here with me. If she didn’t, his wrath would not only transfer it onto me but onto her as well. Even though it was rare that he would ever strike her, but it did happen. She leaned down taking my hand and squeezed it. Saying she was sorry, asking me if it was alright if Shane and Jody prayed with me?

What could say? Jody has seen me naked twice now, either I had stopped caring about girls seeing me exposed to the world or accept the fact it was either that or being beaten to death. I said. “Mom go. I’ll be ok, it's not if I had anything to be ashamed of. It is just a part of life and something I am very well used to.” She reached down and kissed my cheek, which surprised me because she had never shown me such affection as if I mattered; then stepped back out of the room closing the door. I told Shane that I couldn’t move much without my back giving me fits. And I was worried about spilling more blood on the carpet.

He said. “Let me be the judge of that. This carpet has seen more blood and sweat and tears that he had lost count over the years. But if we were going to pray, we need you to get out of that bed before Dad walks in that door.” I nodded as I groaned shifting my feet so they would fall to the floor. Shane and Jody wrapped the sheet around me so I wouldn’t be so exposed; helping me down onto the floor leaning my stomach against the bed for support, letting gravity do most of the work. Just those simple movements made the soft scabs crack open feeling the unbearable pain from stretching and re-stretching. The tears started to fall because of hurt like hell, and I was dizzy from the fever. It took me a moment to gain control as I knelled with a bed sheet covering most of my lower body.

Jody nearly cried holding my left hand and Shane taking the other side. I cried as the blood flowed once more down my back as I got into position, bent my knees and bowed my head. For some reason it made me think of Christ and the pain he felt being nailed to the cross with barely a cloth to cover him. It humbled me as I cried in pain, making it somewhat easier. It was soon after that I began shaking as the pain became so intense. I wanted to pass out onto the floor and never move again. I prayed hard as I could and begged for forgiveness and asking for spiritual guidance, somehow I felt as if someone was standing in the room, something greater than anything I had ever felt before. I begged that if he would see fit too heal me and take away my pain, praying that if he found me worthy of his blessing as I lived in torment.

I begged that my friend would come back, not saying his name out loud; remembering that it wouldn’t be good to have anyone uncover that secret.  I heard the door open then quickly closes, leaving us on our knees as I sagged forward. My head touched the bed; I barely heard Shane say “in Jesus name amen;” closing my prayer, quickly wrapping his arms around the front of my chest before I fell flat on the floor.

I had sub come to the pain as I fainted. I didn’t feel Shane and Jody left me back onto the bed or hear them leave the room. It seemed like minutes as I woke once more finding the sheet and the blanket covering me, tucked loosely around me. It was past six o’clock almost seven before Dad stepped into the room. He didn’t seem angry but worried as he felt my head burning as my teeth chattered once more placing a thermometer beneath my tongue. He didn’t say a word as he lowered the bedding seeing my torn bloody back, and covering me once more as he watched me shiver as if the room was too cold and removed the thermometer frowning placing it back into his pocket. I tried to say I was sorry, but the words couldn’t get past my lips as they broke sounding if I was stuttering.

Dad slowly stroked my hair as I lay there silently unable to move. Then knelled beside me as the tears fell down his cheek saying how sorry he was. That I hadn’t done anything wrong, he begged me to forgive him as he slowly took my hand. I whispered. “I would try Dad, but please don’t make me move.” He nodded said I looked hell on burnt toast. And again he was sorry, so very sorry. I closed my eyes letting the tears of pain fall down the sides my cheeks. Said he would have one of the girls bring down my dinner since it would hurt too much to move me to sit at the table.

I nodded said. “I really need to use the bathroom more, but I didn’t have any more strength to do it on my own without falling.” He chuckled wiping my hot tears with his fingers, and slowly lifted me out of the bed carrying me while I moaned stifling a scream as he laid me against his shoulders, my arms circling his neck to keep me balanced. My body shuddered with pain and the cold as he felt the heat of my skin burning against him and hurried me down the hall. Yelling for Shane to come and grab the door.

He quickly sat me down gently asking Shane how long I had been burning up. Nodding as he said he didn’t know, but to ask Mom. My bladder quickly emptied as my eyes closed with relief, but I didn’t have any strength left to hold me in a sitting position. I started to fall forward nearly falling to the floor. Nearly slipping through his fingers; the cold sweat shinned making my skin slick while it dripped down my arms and chest. He caught me at the last second as my bowels relaxed and emptied from the lack of control. Quickly without warning when I fell barely conscious against him, hanging just enough to empty into the rim of the bowl of the toilet and blacked out completely taking the rest of my strength with it.

When I woke I was sitting in the far corner of the shower floor the nozzle turned to the cold water could cool me without having to be watched. I saw Jeff standing next to me before I felt him. The water seemed to pass right through him. Linking with my mind telling me help was coming, telling me I must fight to stay alive. I understood and I closed my eyes letting the cool water wash over me. It wasn’t long before I heard the doorbell ring and the loud pounding at the door.

I could hear Moms voice when she opened the front door as if she seemed startled, yelling for Dad to come to the door. I couldn’t make out the voices or the words as it was too far away. But I knew it was two men as I heard Dad saying calmly. “I am sorry, but he can’t be seen right now, please come back later when he is feeling up to it.” Closing the door sending them away and begin to argue with Mom, asking why she called them as she tried to say she didn’t; hearing her scream in pain as he must have struck her.

Jeff was angry and as he paced back and forth swearing (not four letter words, but phrases like “holly corn cob or beavers bark”) saying; “tonight they would learn a lesson they soon wouldn’t forget as God as my witness.” It seemed at the time it was just a dream or a delusion from a very high fever. But I had learned over the years that this particular dream stayed with me and is still as clear as the day it happened. Even though Doctors and scientist and non-believers. Think that it common to see things that aren’t there or happening, known as “fever dreams.” I used to think Jeff was just a figure of my imagination but had come to realize early on that he was more real to me than life itself; that having real faith of the impossible requires a lot of faith in your self and in the people around you.

I will understand regardless if you decide that advents that are about to take place or nothing more than a “Fever Dream” and also realize that I am asking the reader to believe the impossible setting sciences aside and believe that anything is possible in whatever religion you believe in; for I firmly believed that these things happened. And it became a turning point in my life when I needed to have something to believe in greater than myself. I will also not blame a single person doubting that these advents that are about taking place.

The room seemed to drop in temperature as I could see my hot breath on a very cold day in December. The light from the light bulb in the room grew brighter then shattered hearing little tiny bits of glass fall to the floor. I had never witnessed such anger as Jeff glowed with rage; as he closed his eyes as if he needed to focus on his task at hand. I watched and listened as he bathed us in pure white light. I heard screams as the lights popped everywhere on the other side of the door while Jeff's fist tightened from the strain of power within him.

I watched him sag against the wall as if he had run a hundred miles and was soon about to drop from exhaustion, engulfing the bathroom into total darkness which seemed like hours but in reality, it was mere minutes.  Telling me to stay calm as he placed his hand on my head; whispering a strange prayer as he filled my very soul with light as it glowed around us. I breathed deeply feeling the warmth as I basked in his light. I felt at peace as if I were being held in Gods very arms.

The pain was gone for the moment. The world seemed right once more. I could smell the green sweet grass around me I looked down seeing me clothed in white standing in a green meadow, the birds sing in the sweetest melody I have heard as their voice rose to heavens above. I never felt such peace as Jeff held me in his arms. Until this very day, I had wondered if this is what death feels like as he took me into its warm brace; and if I had nothing to fear.

Then it was gone as I fell forward lying onto the floor. The water beating against my back while I laid there unable to move being held on the brink of death and life or on the very edge of a knife. My eyes clouded, but clear just enough to see Shane shining a flashlight into the shower; finding me dying on the ground. My eyes wanting me to close them and never open them again; my body seemed heavier than before. My breath seemed shallow, the water darkened with my blood while it spilled down drain near me like black ink.

I knew I was near death, but I could still hear Jeff voice saying. “Be calm, I am with you. Sleep my dear friend as I hold you in my arms.” My eyes lids heavy, I could feel them close for the last time.  I could hear the panic in Shane's voice, calling for Dad. With each passing seconded. The deeper I slept and the closer I came to the light as it beacon-ed me. I could sense Jeff as I drew closer to the light, and I could sense Shane trying to shake me awake.

The world seemed distant the more closely I came to the light. I could see Jeff standing, waiting for me as I came closer to him. With each step I took. The world I lived in grew further and farther away. Jeff smiled taking my hand in his as we walked a familiar path. I felt a strange calm wash over me. I felt loved and safe while he held me against him as we walked the path before us.  I dreamed I was sitting in a warm meadow looking down upon the world.

The pain was gone; my mind and spirit shifted when we linked within our minds, but something had changed within us. It felt familiar, yet unfamiliar. It was like walking through an unseen door, leaving the world you live in behind and when you looked back it seemed dulled and void of color, compared to new one rich and vibrant.  We linked again leaving the world behind and within seconds we had reached our destination. Jeff telling me to “look.” pointing down into small pound smooth as glass; I could see my world and I was still lying on the shower floor, my skin pales covered in blood as I watched my life drain before me.

I watched Dad fall on his knees taking me in arms. The water slick against his back, rocking with me back and forth screaming No! NO! Over and over again; begging that wasn’t too late. Hugging me against his chest weeping, his eyes filled with terror. The bloodstained against his chest, slowly laying me flat on the floor. I watched him put his ear to my chest; the water beating against us as his fingers shook searching for a pulse, Then cradling me in his arms as he stands to lift me against him letting the water beat like rain upon our bodies as he turns to open the door. Saying over and over; “It’s not too late, it’s not too late; he’s still with us Kern he’s still with us. His pulse is a week, but he’s alive.”

Shane pointing the flashlight in front of him as Dad followed slowly behind him trying not to stumble in dark while he cradled me in his arm. He laid me gently on the bed on my stomach folding the sheet and blanket over my lower body. I watched him tending to my wounds sobbing, begging me not to die; feeling my pulses one more time and my breath against the back of his hand. Falling on his knees taking my limp hand; saying “please God, don’t let him die. It was my fault, not his. I let my anger consume me. Please forgive me by not letting him die,” but nothing happened as my body laid there in a deep suspend sleep; while he prayed that God would spare my life.

Kerry and Shawn carried light bulbs working as a team as the flashlight flickered about the room; Kerry holding the ladder as he put the new one in, and moved onto the next one. I watched the house lights come back on, Shane cleaning up the broken glass.  Mom was crying as she held Jason and Jared in her arms her face marked where her husband had struck her. Jody kneeling against her as she cried in fear saying “Mom, I think God is angry because Dad sent the Bishop away."  

Mom said “shush child, why would God be angry when we had done nothing wrong. Now be quiet while I think what to do.”

I felt a tug at my mind and body came one again. The pain was unbearable as I opened my eyes seeing Dad holding my broken body. His clothes soaked and covered in blood while he rocked me back forth as if I was a small infant. My eyes filled with tears as I moaned in pain. He stopped looked down at me; “Thank God for answering my prayers.” I didn’t say anything as I was warned not to until now about the dream as I felt Jeff nearby, letting the dream fade in my mind as if it never happened.