New Arrivals part 2

Chapter 54-1

New Arrivals

Part 2

It was quite similar to my first dinner with the Rothwell’s; Dad having to slap his hands away telling him not to touch his food with his filthy hands. He had removed the handcuffs but left the ones on his legs and ankles. In case he tried to run. Unlike me, no one asked him any questions just considered him like he was apart of the furniture. If he was smart he would remain that way, but not Kelly. Instead, he spits the food out onto his plate swearing. Stating this wasn’t fit for “f” pigs. Dad growled picking up his plate and emptied it onto the floor. Got up from the table and forced him down onto the floor and made him eat every bite and hauled his a*s back down to his room.

Dad was careful when it came to taking his belt off in front of me, but I knew better to even move from my spot. Mom turned my head and had me walk through my breathing exercises while listening to Kelly scream before Dad and he closed the door. When Dad came back he was winded taking his seat and we continued eating. It was several minutes before he said in a calm voice that appears that Shane and I would need a new bedroom for the time being; asking us if he wouldn’t mind moving into the baby’s room for now. We knew better than to say no, so we did what we were told. Dad was cruel, but even he wouldn’t put him in the same room as Arthur until he felt good about it.

Being Monday night it was family home evening and went on as scheduled, well it was shorter because Dad wanted us to move everything into our new room. Striping the other completely bare; even though Dad had purchased a bed for Kelly in Arthur’s room, it was going to be something he earned. He wasn’t even allowed a blanket of any kind. I guess it could be worse if he went to prison and ended up in the hole. The house was warm and comfortable compared to a cold hard cell of bars and concrete. It was quite late by the time Shane and I made it to bed with school in the morning. Since nothing changes for us it was all Kelly like it was with me when I first arrived and Dad had taken the same time off just as he had for me for my “retraining period.”

If you think not being LDS made a difference, think again. Dad and Mom still required you to pray regardless and still read our doctorin and held accountable for every sin they think you did, and with Kelly, I am sure there were many. It was a long week and grueling for all of us with Thanksgiving around the corner. Even though I was going elsewhere it didn’t include me not doing my chores and more just like everyone else.

Dad wasn’t going to let Kelly slide so easily either. Decided to repaint the living room and the kitchen, considering he was home anyway and everything had to look immaculate when the relatives arrived. You would think Kelly would be thankful that it was winter and the hot box wasn’t used during the winter months. Also, he was lucky that Dad permitted him to wear workmen overalls, instead of doing everything in the buff. Not that it mattered much seeing him run enough laps around the field, you simply turned a blind eye. Shawn too was not exempt from it, having to run with him since he was still grounded.

Dad implemented a new item to his ankle the second he took off his leg chains; in place of them, he added an ankle monitor the same one that I was going to wear to my grandmother’s house. I am not saying he changed his mind, but instead, mine was made into wristband watch, one of the newest things I had ever seen except the watch doesn’t just tell time and it doesn’t come off as easy. I wasn’t disappointed once I saw it versa to the ankle one. Mine was cool and wouldn’t be noticeable to the naked eye. Dad said he trusted me not to run away, but my parents had proven that anything could happen. It still felt like I was a prisoner being watched 24/7 but there was little I could do about it considering I didn’t trust them either.

In some ways, I liked the extra protection knowing that if something happened to me, someone would know I was in trouble and know where to find me, but it was also like a double edge sword. I couldn’t easily disappear if one of my friends found a way to smuggle me out. Dad and the police would know the instant something was up. It was my job to make sure that never happened. Dad made me promise in writing even though he knew I took my promises seriously not to cause a problem and most of all not to try and run away. If I needed help all I had to do was call, or walk across the street and yell for help.

Mom helped me pack and making sure my scriptures were included as well as my church clothes, even though my grandmother was told I would be there the day before Thanksgiving. Dad had my caseworker pick me up a day earlier to surprise her and letting me stay three extra days so no one would be expecting me or know when I was returning home. The only ones that knew were the police, my caseworker and the Rothwell’s. Dad shook my hand and looked me in the eye having me restate my promises. Mom gave me a quick hug and a bag of my favorite cookies to share with my brother when he arrived. Like I said you never know what you are facing when it comes to Dad and Mom. Cruelty or love in the same breath.

Dad and Mom didn’t miss a trick when it came to my well being and spent time talking my grandmother through my breathing exercises and making sure I had my pills to help me sleep at night, and most important the tranquilizer in case there was an episode that she couldn’t bring me down. The later was more likely to happen, stating that the officer would have more if I required them. To say I was nervous, scared, and excited at the same time is an understatement.

It was a total shock when we drove up into my grandmother’s driveway and she saw me a day earlier than expected. Even though my caseworker is a “Ding Bat” he was considerate to ask if it was alright if I was a day earlier. Grandma just said. “You think sir I would turn my favorite grandson away because he is? Hell no.” He, however, didn’t state how long I’d be staying and I wasn’t about to say it either; it was part of the promise to Dad for my own safety and her’s. Grandma didn’t miss a beat when she noticed my extra clothes as if I had packed the kitchen sink. A promise was a promise even though I would never lie to my grandma; I could bend the truth a little.

When the police arrived at the door grandma hesitated for a minute before letting them in. A deal was a deal even though she didn’t like it. They were there for my safety and her’s, it may have been embarrassing, but modesty didn’t compute with grandma. When I was asked to strip everything but my watch, so they could inspect me for bruises, cuts, and anything, and taking pictures stating that I am to be returned in the same condition or there would be consequences.

Grandma signed off on it even though it was like I was goods for sale; again it was part of the conditions as well as for them to inspect every inch of the house and the property; marking my boundaries of my temporary prison leaving her with a simple code to contact them by phone if I am in trouble. Grandma was polite stating there won’t be and helped me settle in once she noted the unmarked car, two houses down and one at the top of the field of a small orchard. I would have to say it was one of the nicest prisons I had ever stayed at.

I had learned that when the Downing’s left they had left all my clothing behind and most of my personal belongings. Even though they were still hopeful that I would be returned to them, in the near future; which was unlikely? It did make me miss them more, knowing they would never give up trying. Grandma hugged me tight afraid I would disappear or that this was just a dream. I told her everything that I had left out of my letters and phone calls. But when she asked regarding my extra clothes and Sunday clothes I said they just wanted me to be prepared for anything as she hung up my clothing. She knew I was holding back, but she didn’t push it, she was just glad I was here. To her, that was the most important part.

I was aching to put on something that was really mine; something that wasn’t part of the Rothwell nightmare. Smelling the clothes trying to find that certain scent that was part of them. I breathe deep not smelling the disinfectant or seeing not an immaculate house, but a house that felt lived in and comfortable. I felt proud and happy feeling the warm colors that were vibrant and unlike the cold white paint and the almost white carpet that you were too afraid to get dirty. Grandma only smiled as I traded my clothes for the others; folding them back into the suitcase.

Grandma watched me walk the yard in my bare feet even though it was slightly cold. I wanted to feel the dirt that I had felt and played in most of my life. Climb trees that made me feel like a kid again. Roll in the leaves that had fallen from the trees. Feeling free from my cage with no one around to stop me, yelling at the top of my lungs just so I could. To anyone else looking at me from the outside would think I was just a normal kid, and I was good with that. But like all things that too was fading fast, I knew I would never be a normal kid again. Yet it warmed me inside that it wasn’t today and wasn’t tomorrow, even though I hated to come inside I knew this to couldn’t last forever here I would be whatever I chose to be.

I had always liked helping my grandma in the kitchen and this wasn’t any different. She laughed when I put on my apron that said tiger on it, but to her, I would always be EJ; and I was good with that. It was just us and her son Don, he and I didn’t talk much at the time, nor did he want to know more about me. It was later in life before we became close friends, but for now, we seemed to be on two different sides of the coin. To him, I was a bratty kid that needed all his mother’s attention. We would nod in passing, but neither of us started a conversation, even though grandma did try he would just leave the room.

After supper I took a long hot bath, it was so good to sit there in the same tub I had grown up with. Grandma only knocked to see if I was ok and still alive. Even though she had bathed me countless times growing up, she let me have my privacy. Something I would never have at the Rothwell’s. Shane seldom watches me anymore and lets me do everything myself, but he doesn’t leave the room either or the door is left open so Mom, Kerry, and Shane can check on me. Nothing is private when it comes to them, even though they now know that I am capable of doing things for myself. It is rare moments not for them to have my dignity. Yet even that you come to accustom to, but here I can take as long as I wanted and remain completely private.

It was the first night in a long time that I didn’t need Shane to be nearby or to help me with my breathing exercises. Nor did I need him to climb in bed with me so I could feel safe as I slept medicated. Grandma walked me through them anyway so we both knew if there was a problem she would know how to pull me out of them; still using the same phrase. “Tiger has seven stripes,” but adding “EJ’s Tiger has seven stripes.” Knowing that my parents would never call me tiger nor would they call me EJ. My mother would use my given name, but my father would always call me boy or some other foul name. I did my best not to think about them and the day they would arrive finding me here. Grandma knew I was worried, but neither of us talked about it. Why borrow trouble?

Even though I had brought a sleeping bag so I could sleep on the couch or the floor. Grandma had Don put down the mattress that Aaron used when he came over even though it was a little small, but it was comfortable, more comfortable than the coach or the bare floor. It didn’t take long after I took my pills and did my exercises, knowing I was completely safe here makes a whole lot of difference especially when your grandma tucks you in with several kisses. I slept the best night I had ever slept in a very long time.