Fighting For Your Life Part 3

Chapter 281-2

Fighting For Your Life

Part 3

 

No one said anything as my mother put her suitcase by the door or the fact she had been crying. Knowing no matter what we would say wouldn’t help make the decision easier. Instead, she said. “I called the hospital and they said they will be happy to check me in the morning and since Jennie is leaving for home after supper I decided that I would go home with her.”

Dad said. “I was going that direction tomorrow morning if you would like to spend the night here with her. We are hoping you and Jennie and her kids would like to join us for family home evening since it will be the last one we will have for a while as a family and friends.” My mother nodded said she would like that if it wouldn’t be a problem. Dad said. “No, not all; we would love to have you besides the canyon roads are bad at night.”

My mother took a seat next to me and Aaron and squeezed our hands. I squeezed back as Dad said the prayer. My mother was silent all through dinner, as she watched everyone else around the table. I knew what she was thinking which was, ‘why I can’t I have this?’ Yet we both knew why which was because of my father. He hated anything to do with the idea of being a family, well a total family when it consisted of me, Aaron and my mother.

Everyone in his family thinks he’s such a loving person, but the truth was he was the meanest and the coldest person to be around when he is around my mother or me or my brother Aaron. My mother had stopped having family dinners around the table, because of him and my two sisters. The only time we did was when I was home visiting, but he was never around. He always made sure of that.

Everyone talked about anything but was happening when it came to the satanic church or where we were going. Mostly because we didn’t trust my mother, she had the gift of gab forgetting sometimes that what we say or what we do matters. She was proud of the fact that I was always on the honor roll, always having these great adventures she called them and love to share everything, and mean everything with everybody she meets.

I hated the fact she told everyone about me, I hated the fact people would come up and ask me if it was true. I have always hated the being in the spotlight but didn’t stop me from enjoying life to the fullest back then, because I never knew if today would be my last day on this earth. Now I that I am older, and the adventures have stopped… that’s all I think about wanting it to be my last day on this earth.

Don’t get me wrong, but when I look back on how I lived back then always on the edge of a knife. Everyday life seems boring in comparison. People told me what I was doing is wrong, that everything I had done meant nothing… And after a while, I started to believe it. But in truth, I missed that part of my life, because too me I didn’t have any regrets, but I listened to the world around me and look at what I got for it. Nothing but heartache and more loneliness then I can stand.

So I knew what my mother was dealing with, she felt alone in the world as she looked around the table, wishing she had what I had, which was family and friends that loved her and each other. Now we were pushing her out the door because she thought we didn’t want her. When the truth was we did, but she had a life of her own that she was avoiding to get back to, and right now my father was doing his best to make sure she didn’t have a life to come back too.

I wasn’t my mother, and there was nothing I could do for her but be here when she needed me. Sad to say she made that decision later on where she felt she didn’t need me or Aaron and moved in with Susan leaving this life behind forever.  She died never seeing me and Aaron again.

When that happened; Aaron and I were told about her death, through my relatives and were told not to come… personally by Susan. Becky too was told not to come and she heeded her advice and didn’t, but Aaron and I went anyway.  We fought constantly, I even tried to patch thing with her and my father, but they wanted me gone. Telling me I had no right to be there since I wasn’t part of the family and never was. We left and it was the last time I had ever spoken to my father or Susan. 

However, when my father dies, neither of us plan to go to his funeral. Susan may mourn his passing as for me and Aaron we won’t be morning him. People may question why being as he was our father. Yet what they don’t understand that in truth he was our abuser and a monster, in truth he was never our father. I don’t mourn the death of people like him or the people that I have met that were monsters in their own right. Too me they belong in only one place which is hell.

Call me cold if you like, but some people should never be parents and he is one of those people and so are Susan and Becky, in there own right. Not surprising considering they were raised in his image and the understanding that Aaron and I were nothing more than dirt under their feet. Unless of course, we had money then Susan and my father would hit Aaron and our relatives for cash which they intend never to pay back, and when they come down to visit them, they expect us to fit the bill for it, and stay until we are broke. Stating it was a joke on us, having us pay for their vacation.

For family home evening, Dad liked to do scripture chases, and I was one of the best back then, and everyone wanted me on their team. My mother was also proud of that as well, but my father called me a hypocrite, because he felt the church should have excommunicated us because we were practicing nudism, however when he tells me that I say they should excommunicate him for being a child abusers and wife beater and very bad parent, which only made him more angrier.

Yet the thing was he knew if he laid another hand on me, he would regret it and find himself behind bars, unless anyone reported it, which none did because they were scared of what my father would do. Like I said the people that really knew him, they knew him being the meanest person alive that would make them pay for it.

Yet they also knew that I could protect myself, and have done many times or find the cops at the door asking him if he would like a ride in the police car. Many cheered the day he and my mother left Santaquin with my two sisters.

I wasn’t one of them, because the only reason they left was because they were both being blacked mailed by my sister that if they didn’t come with her. Susan made it clear that they would never see their grandchildren ever again, plus the fact I was told by my father and by Susan that if I even tried to contact my mother or visit her they would do whatever it takes to put me behind bars. Stating they feared for their life because I was no longer afraid of my father, or my sister's threats.

Yet no one knew that my mother made phone calls and saw me and Aaron from time to time. When she came down to visit her friend Jennie. Until Susan and my father learned of it because my mother told them when she came back, knowing they would punish her in some way until eventually, she had to make a choice it was either them or us and that included her best friend Jennie. She chose them in the end, and for that she died unhappy knowing she would never see us again, and how happy Susan and my father were about it.

Like they got the last laugh on me, knowing they had won the battle after all these years. Even now Susan is circling around Aaron and our relatives to see who would be next on their lists to make sure I would be thrown to the wolves. Yet what she doesn’t know is that has never been the problem. Aaron and I had already been thrown to the wolves and made a point that we are not welcome and we never were. So in a way the last laugh is on her and my father because they can’t take away something that was never there in the first place which was family.

Like I said I know what my mother was feeling which was loneliness. More so now that I am older, and had given up my own happiness because I was told it was the right thing to do and the fact I didn’t deserve to be happy because of the things I did even though, at the time, it didn’t seem wrong.

I was the happiest person alive because I had everything I wanted; which was being loved and being part of a family that loved each other. My one true regret was I listened to the world and not my heart and cost me dearly, for that chance of finding happiness again, never happened or will ever happen. Some people don’t deserve happiness and I am one of those people, for I truly see me as the monster as my family sees it.

The night ended with family prayer as we all knelled in a circle; I squeezed my mothers hand, letting her know that I loved her and will miss her, but not in words, for they could truly not speak the truth, but in my heart. Yet in truth, I felt jealous and I felt angry because my sisters at home or my father didn’t deserve her or what she was truly giving up was spending time with me and Aaron because they truly did hate us, and didn’t want us or her to be happy.

All they wanted was total control, and to punish her for even considering the idea of us being part of their family. No, they didn’t deserve her, or the sacrifices she was giving up, just so they could have her all to themselves to beat on her emotions in hopes of taking away her idea what family really meant to her.

I kissed my mother goodnight, not knowing if she would be here when I woke up, even though she said she wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Something in those words said she would so it wouldn’t hurt as much. I had desensitized myself over the years, to the point that saying goodbye was nothing more than numbing my emotions. So I numbed myself or told myself she had her own life and so did I, with that I simply ignored the pain I was feeling as I let her go knowing that I too had my own life and need to get back to it. 

I looked away from her and asked. “So what’s do I need to learn so I can fit in with the rest of the boys?”  Jerald and Samuel gave me a wicked smile and so did my wife Rhoda. Eli and Jackie also smiled, as they asked if they could help.

Rhoda said. “No, I think we got it. Why don’t you guys work with Terry, Mark, and Sal?

Jody said. “What am I chop liver?”

The boys smiled and Eli said. “Depends are you going with them”

Jody said. “Of course I am, Dave wouldn’t have it any other ways since we are both coming.” Dad tried not to look surprised, but Mom patted his cheek that stated she had won and we boys would just have to get used to the idea.

Rhoda said. “Give us girls a chance to change into something more comfortable.” I smiled and they smiled. Dad watched Mom leave having him follow her; leaving Mr. Vincent the room to be with his wife before he left out the door to catch his plane that would be taking off in 6 hours. However, instead of Mom and Dad going into their room they went into my mothers and Jennies room asking Mrs. And Mr. Vincent to join them.

My mother was a big girl and so was Jennie it was none of my business what they did. I just knew that if father knew he would be going nuclear. I had my own problems and his problems weren’t mine as we boys stared at each other across the room as they simply smiled at my younger brothers as they went to their room after we had said goodnight.

The boys plus the three girls Rhoda, Jody and Loren that had decided to go with us besides me… which was Mark, Kirk, Sal, Terry, and Greg. Plus Dan and Hale, Trevor and Scott as well Kevin, and Alex. Which all used to belong to Mr. Striker and his two best friends Mr. Gregory and Mr. Fairchild? All the rest of the boys were staying here for the time being…

We were told that anymore that would be difficult given that fact they had more boys then they actually needed making us an even dozen to be split between Dad, Mr. Vincent and our two new guests Jerald and Samuel.

However, things changed in a heartbeat when Mr. Holliman announced that he and his three boys as well as Ethan, Colby and his brother Denis were coming also and including his wife. Stating it would give their boys and their newly adopted boys a chance to visit their grandparents and plus the fact neither of them were starting their new jobs until first of the year being as there were roughly 8 weeks until winter break.

To give them time to move in. Not realizing that with all the help they had it was already done. At least that was the news they had gotten today, plus the fact that strange little notebook listed several children they need to help were near the place where we were going. Plus the fact all of us kids that were coming were going to be home schooled giving Mrs. Holliman a chance to see where they were in regards to schooling.

It became obvious that all of that we're going couldn’t all fit on a private jet, but would have to take a commercial flight instead. Stringum acted like the cost of tickets were doable. Stated it by asking is that all that was coming, so he could book us all a flight. Dad said. “I think that’s about it, is that going to be a problem?”

Stringum said. “Problem? Why should it be a problem, we just have to buy entire fight worth tickets that’s all and decide who is going to ride along with them.” Just like that, he was on the phone again.

I cringed when I saw the amount he wrote down, He looked at me and smiled, said. “I get a huge discount because how many seats I am buying,” as he circled the price with 60% discount as he said. “Buy every seat, including the ones up front. That’s right I am buying the entire flight… do you have a problem with that? Good. Yes, that’s right, excellent. Thursday morning at 3 am.

“I think we can do that it would give us an extra day. No just one way, for now. I realize that it’s the busy season. Listen can you tell me who I can speak to if I want to buy my own comical plane for my own personal use, yes I realize that, but I already own private jet. Fine, I’ll do that. You have been most helpful. He hung up the phone and said. “B***h.”