I Imagine

I always wonder how things would be

Like when my sister stole my waffle at breakfast when I was little

And when I ran after her to retrieve it

Running into the doorknob's nail and retrieved stitches.

What if I hit my eye instead and my mom freaked out

My sister would be filled with so much guilt as she watched me go blind.

She wouldn't be traveling the world,

I would have become a homebody and not pursued my dreams.

I imagine how different things would be,

If I had an excuse to not be all I can be.

The struggle is real,

But I have an excuse not to fail.

I always wondered how things would be

Like if I had a childhood friend that's a guy who didn't tease me,

a guy who would see I'm not that different than he.

Maybe then I wouldn't have my guard up around them.

What if I was with a man that some people can't believe,

They can't see us together cause he's more physically fit than me

But like Zee Avi, that's all in my head

So I will stay there instead.

But can I please,

stay in these clouds forever cause I really like it here.

I always have this irrational fear that when I leave,

 the right man will never appear.

But my life had none of those things.

I always imagine how life could be but,

now it's time to make my dreams a reality.

The only thing that is holding me back is me.