Alec's prayer

Alec's prayer

A Poem by Nanaki
"

Alec isn't your typical angel

"
Our Father, who is not in Heaven,
Alec is thy name.
My Kingdoms done.
I will walk alone on Earth,
as I have here in Heaven.
Give me this day my sweet revenge.
And forgive me my blasphemy,
For I'll punish those you were to weak to.
I won't be your heaven's redemption,
But I will slaughter true evil.
For this is my legacy,
I gained power, not seeking glory.
I'm coming Lucifer
Amen

© 2017 Nanaki


Author's Note

Nanaki
Please read under the assumption this is the lords prayer I felt it came out better that way

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Featured Review

"Our Father, Who is not in Heaven,
Alec is thy name.
My Kingdoms done." - Already I love this piece. I love how you've turned things around. The only thing I would edit is the capitol "Who" can be "who".

"I will walk alone on Earth,
As I have here in Heaven." - again, you don't need a capitol "A" after a comma.

"Give me this day my sweet revenge.
And forgive me my blasphemy," - Absolutely powerful.

"For I'll punish those you were to weak to.
I won't be your heaven's redemption," - "to weak" should be "too weak"

"I won't be your heaven's redemption,
But I will slaughter true evil." - still the power behind this is stunning.

"I gained power, not seeking glory.
I'm coming Lucifer!
Amen" - the only thing I disagree with is the exclamation point. I feel a period is more powerful than exclaiming will ever be. More sentences were killed by periods than ever were by exclaiming.

Overall, truly I loved this. It was something I have never come across before and found it to be immensely powerful. The flow was flawless and the word choice was excellent. I suggest going back for capitol correction and a punctuation check, but otherwise - amazing write. Thank you much for the read, write on.

-Rynn


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nanaki

3 Years Ago

Thank you am glad you liked it, this is the first time Ive tried poetry even if it is just a mashup .. read more



Reviews

I don't get it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Nanaki

3 Years Ago

read the lords prayer dude
222333

3 Years Ago

I have. I still don't get this poem.
Nanaki

3 Years Ago

Its a alternate version to the lords prayer. It basically says heavens in ruins due to Lucifer and t.. read more
Wickedly awesome. I love pieces like this and you twisted the lords prayer around in such a powerful way.

Just the simple - Alec is thy name.
My kingdom is done.
Those 2 lines were the trigger which set this piece off in a spectacular way.

Delicously dark and VERY VERY POWERFUL.

Mark.

Posted 3 Years Ago


A wicked piece huh. You got a creative mind. Really

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

An interesting write for sure. I didn't really know what to make of it.
Very interesting prayer.
Creative imaginative piece I think.
Well written :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


"Our Father, Who is not in Heaven,
Alec is thy name.
My Kingdoms done." - Already I love this piece. I love how you've turned things around. The only thing I would edit is the capitol "Who" can be "who".

"I will walk alone on Earth,
As I have here in Heaven." - again, you don't need a capitol "A" after a comma.

"Give me this day my sweet revenge.
And forgive me my blasphemy," - Absolutely powerful.

"For I'll punish those you were to weak to.
I won't be your heaven's redemption," - "to weak" should be "too weak"

"I won't be your heaven's redemption,
But I will slaughter true evil." - still the power behind this is stunning.

"I gained power, not seeking glory.
I'm coming Lucifer!
Amen" - the only thing I disagree with is the exclamation point. I feel a period is more powerful than exclaiming will ever be. More sentences were killed by periods than ever were by exclaiming.

Overall, truly I loved this. It was something I have never come across before and found it to be immensely powerful. The flow was flawless and the word choice was excellent. I suggest going back for capitol correction and a punctuation check, but otherwise - amazing write. Thank you much for the read, write on.

-Rynn


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nanaki

3 Years Ago

Thank you am glad you liked it, this is the first time Ive tried poetry even if it is just a mashup .. read more

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389 Views
7 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 27, 2017
Last Updated on March 27, 2017
Tags: lords prayer, angels, demons, Lucifer, god, Alec, redemption, apocalypse, fantasy, poetry, heaven, earth

Author

Nanaki
Nanaki

United Kingdom



About
just me. Have a avid interest in fantasy more towards medieval and magic rather than sci fi. more..

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